Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux)
by TimeLordMaster108
Summary: Part one of a trilogy and an expansion on Lozza1989s fanfic Stewie And The Fat Woman, while out shopping Stewie is kidnapped by a crazy Fat Woman who wants to keep him as her son, will Stewie be able to escape and will the Griffins see him again
1. Chapter 1

**(AN Hello there TimeLordMaster108 here with the first chapter of my prequal triology, the first story is Basicaly the original Stewie And The Fat Woman but with some added things and this story will be a Full on musical, also I apologise deeply for the delay, also warning the first chapter contains three musical numbers, Disclaimer I don't own Family Guy or it's characters they are property of 20TH Centuary Fox and Fuzzy Door Productions, I also don't own the OCs Helen or Dave Parks they are owned by LozzaDozza89.)**

 **Chapter 1 Harmless Fun?**

It was a typical Saturday afternoon in Quahog Rhode Island and the Griffins were preparing to head to the mall due to the fact that Chris recently ruined his shoes because he thought they would make better bike breaks and while everyone was slightly annoyed at having to go shopping on a Saturday Lois was in an extreamly good mood as Lois was doing some dusting she couldn't help but burst into song while dancing.

(AN first song parody is the Snow Miser Song from The Year Without A Santa Clause.)

Lois: I'm Mrs nice lady, I'm Mrs sane

I'm Mrs loving wife, I'm Mrs caring mum

Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there

To protect my kids from harm

I'm to much.

the rest of the family began to sing as Lois spun around.

The others: She's Mrs nice lady, she's Mrs sane

Lois: That's Right

The others: She's Mrs Loving wife she's Mrs Carring Mum.

Lois: Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there.

To protect my kids from harm

The others: She's to much.

Lois then embraced her family in a hug.

Lois: I never want to know a day where my family are in danger.

But if they were I'd tear whoever did it apart and kick their assssssssss.

Lois then began spinning again.

The others: She's Mrs nice lady, she's Mrs sane

Lois: That's right.

The others: She's Mrs loving wife, she's Mrs caring mum

Lois: Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there

To Protect my kids from harm

To much

The others: To much.

Everyone then started laughing as they headed for the car.

"I'm board." Peter moaned as they started driving.

"Already we've only just left the driveway." Lois replied.

"I get board very easily Lois." Peter protested. "How about we play I-Spy."

"Cool I-Spy." Chris said while clapping his hands excitedly. "Me first me first."

"Ok Chris you go first." Peter replied.

"I-Spy with my little eye somthing begining with...D." Chris said.

"Is it a Donut?" Peter asked.

"No" Chris answered.

"A dead Lois?" Stewie suggested.

Chris just shook his head.

"A dog?" Meg asked.

"Yes it's a dog it's Brian." Chris answered in a cheerful voice.

Brian just rolled his eyes.

"Oh ha, ha very funny." He said sarcastically. "How much further till we get there?"

"We're nearly there Brian." Lois replied.

"Ah good because I need to go to the bathroom." The talking dog explained. "And I don't want to do it in the car."

"Oh what a nice way to put it." Stewie remarked in a dry voice. "Could this day possibly get any worse.

Unbeknows to Stewie his day was about to go from bad to worse and soon he would come face to face with his most terrifying and deadly adversary, two miles away from the Mall stood a flat which only had two residents a rather odd couple named Helen and Dave Parks however they were nothing alike, Dave looked like a skinny Peter and was a very friendly but cowerdly man who was willing to help anyone, but his wife on the other hand was a vicious, uncaring, cruel lady, looked like an obese greesey haired Lois and who wasn't allowed to have children because she used to be a drug dealer, had a nasty temper and was absolutely off her rocker.

Helen was getting ready to go to the Mall and had told Dave she was going for some shopping and said that she was buying him a surprise, She then began to burst into song while tap dancing.

(AN Song being parodied is the Heat Miser song from The Year Without A Santa Clause.)

Helen: I'm Mrs mean lady I'm Mrs Psycho

I'm Mrs abusive Wife, I'm Mrs big fat lady

They call me Helen and I don't care what it takes

i'll get a child of my own I don't care how ha, hahahahaha

Dave then tried to follow Helen out of curiousity but got a slap in the face.

Dave: She's Mrs Mean lady she's Mrs psycho

She's Mrs abusive Wife she's Mrs big fat lady

Helen: They call Me Helen and I don't care what it takes

I'll get a child of my own

Dave: She dosn't care how wait what

Helen: Oh thank you

I never want to know a day where I'm all on my own

I'd rather have my husband and a son to call my own.

Helen (Spoken in a low whisper:) Oh and I really don't care what it takes I'll even abduct someone else's kid if I have to hahahahahahahaha.

Dave: She's Mrs mean lady, she's Mrs psycho

Helen: Sing it

Dave: She's Mrs abusive Wife she's Mrs big fat lady

Helen: They call me Helen and I don't care what it takes.

I'll get a child of my own, I don't care how

Dave: Dosn't care how.

Helen then marched right out the front door and slammed it in Dave's face.

Ten minutes later the Griffins made it to the mall and Brian went over to a bush to answer the call of nature, he then went into a nearby bar as there was a temperery ban on talking dogs in the mall after Brian had campaigned to legalise weed.

"Ok Peter I'm going to get Chris his new shoes." Lois said. "why don't you take Stewie to the Toy Store."

She then handed Stewie over to Peter.

"Oh good job Lois." The talking infant stated sarcastically. "Leaving me with the Fatman he is very irresponsible, don't you even know what happened last time."

 **Flashback**

Peter was at the park feeding some ducks.

"Come on you ducks come and eat the bread, come on you bastards don't make me come in there." Peter angrily yelled out. "Damnit they aren't even eating the damn bread, Stewie why don't you try and Stewie, hay Stewie where are you?"

Peter then looked around and saw that Stewie had gotten his head stuck in the metal fence and was being pecked by the ducks.

"Damn you Fatman you were supposed to be keeping an eye on me." Stewie fumed. "Now look what has happened, I've got my bloody head stuck in the blasted fence and my face is being pecked at by ducks."

 **End Flashback**

Peter and Stewie entered the Toy Store which was very big and busy full of children running about trying toys out, Peter suddenly got a childish smile on his face and began running about picking toys up every five minutes and laughing in delight, Peter was currently playing with a doll and pressing the button on its back which caused him to use his signature laugh.

"I love you Mumma." The doll said.

"Hay Fatman I'm board and I want some food because I'm hungry." Stewie demanded.

"Hay Stewie wanna go look at some computer games?" Peter asked.

Before the infant could protest Peter lifted him off the ground and carried him to the computer game section, Stewie then glanced about and saw someone who looked out of place it was a figure wearing a trench coat and they were playing with the doll while crying slightly, Stewie then swore he could see the figure looking at him with intent and then giving him a creepy and triumphant smile.

"Weirdo." The young infant remarked.

Peter got all giddy again as they explored the game section, he then saw a large Pac-Man machine and his eyes widened in delight.

"Oh boy Pac-Man I haven't played that game in ages." Peter exclaimed in delight.

He then put Stewie down on the ground and ran over to the Pac-Man machine, Peter then began playing it.

"OI FATMAN HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTEN SOMEBODY." Stewie yelled.

Peter however didn't take any notice and continued playing while giggling in a childish manner, Stewie then decided to stand next to some Xbox's while waiting for Peter to finish, Stewie also noticed that he was the only child hanging around the area.

The talking baby was just daydreaming about blowing Lois's brains out when suddenly a pair of hands reached down and grabbed him.

"What the deuce." Stewie cried out in alarm as he looked up to see the same figure from earlier holding him.

"Who the hell are you?" Stewie asked in an irritated tone.

The woman didn't answer him instead she hid Stewie under her coat.

"PET." Stewie tried to yell out as his shout was muffled.

The woman then dashed out of the Toy Store and soon out of the mall ignoring the muffled but angry cries of protest and the fists banging against her jacket.

Meanwhile Peter was engrossed in his game and had no idea what had just happened but he soon lost and got board.

"Oh well come on Stewie how about we get some lunch." Peter suggested.

When Peter didn't get a reply he turned around and was shocked when he didn't see Stewie there.

"Stewie where are you?" Peter asked in a concerned and worried voice as he started to look about.

Peter suddenly became frantic and raced all over the Toy Store trying to find his baby but he was no where to be found.

"This is bad, this is very bad." Peter cried out in horror as he ran from the Toy Store. "Lois is going to kill me.

Meanwhile Stewie was buckled in tight to the front passenger seat of a red Ford Fiesta with the woman driving it.

"I demand that you take me back now." He demanded while pointing at the woman. "This is very illegal what you're doing.

Stewie tried to hit the obese woman but he just couldn't reach.

"Calm down little fellow you're a very fussy one ain't you." The woman said with a thick Texan accent.

"Look here you Fat bitch if you don't take me back to the Toy Store right now I will destroy you." Stewie threatened her with barley concealed venom.

The woman simply ignored him and kept driving.

Meanwhile back at the mall Lois and The others were just walking out of the shoe shop when she spotted Peter running towards her and looking nervous.

"LOIS QUICK YOU'VE GOTTA HELP IT'S A DISASTER." Peter shouted out in an exasperated and despaired tone.

"What's wrong Peter?" Lois asked in a concerned voice. "You look like you lost somthing important."

"Ohhhh I've lost somthing important alright." Peter replied in a high pitched whimpering voice. "But please try not to get angry or upset when I tell you."

"Oh come on Peter surly it can't be as bad as that." Lois replied in a calm voice while smiling.

"Well you see Lois um circumstances being what they are um ah." Peter began while shaking and smiling nervously before finnaly gulping. "I've lost Stewie."

Meg and Chris just gasped in horror while Lois began growling in a furious manner.

"WHAT." Lois screamed as she marched up to Peter and grabbed him by the collar. "What do you mean you lost Stewie."

"I just have." Peter explained before being dropped on his bottom.

"Where did he go Peter where did you last see him?" Lois asked in a panicky voice.

"We were in the computer game section and I turned my back on him for ten minutes, and when I turned around he was gone." Peter explained.

"You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him Peter anything could've happened to him." Lois said as she was begining to panic.

"Oh my god!" Meg cried out. "My baby brother is gone."

"Calm down Meg, we need to split up and search for him there's a chance he could still be in here, Peter you look in the middle area, I'll look upstairs and Meg and Chris can look downstairs and if there's no sign we go to the Police and inform them." Lois said.

Although Lois was trying to remain calm she was growing increasingly worried.

Meanwhile the woman who had taken Stewie was entering a block of flats that was two miles away from the Toy Store, she then began climbing the stairs while carrying the struggling infant.

"Unhand me this instant, put me down right now." Stewie demanded in a threatning voice. "God you stink what do you wash your hair with piss?

The woman brought him into her untidy flat where her husband was waiting.

"Dave I'm home." She called out as she entered the living room

The first thing Dave got a glimpse of was Stewie.

"Who is that Helen?" Dave asked curiously.

"This Dave is our son." Helen explained while smiling happily.

Stewie was shocked when he heard this and from that moment began to plan his escape.

 **(AN well that was Chapter one of this redux Chapter two should be out soon, so remember to read, review and leave suggestions.**


	2. Where's Stewie?

( **AN hello and welcome to the second chapter of Stewie And The Fat Woman Redux as usual I don't own Family Guy or the OCs Helen and Dave and speaking of Helen I almost died laughing last Sunday when I saw that crazy lady who kind of looks like Helen try and abduct Stewie, I mean was anyone else who reads my stories shocked and if you were please let me know in a review, anyway onto the chapter.**

 **Chapter 2 Where's Stewie?**

Dave was looking at Helen with a slightly confused face not sure what she was meaning.

"Helen did social services finnaly let you adopt?" Dave asked in a confused voice.

"Not exactly." The crazed woman replied with a sinister tone and smile. "I sort of took him from a Toy Store."

"You kidnapped him, are you mad." Dave thundered in a shocked and angry voice.

"You tell her." Stewie pointed out while pouting.

"Well how else are we going to have a child of our own?" Helen asked. "You know sociol services won't let me adopt because of my past with drugs and alcahol and Dave you always said that after we got married that you wannted to start a family, so this is a perfect opertunity."

"That's not the point Helen you abducted an infant, think how worried his parents must be. "Dave pointed out in frustration.

"Well I don't care because I'm not giving him back." Helen barked out before spitting at Dave. "And plus I thought you would be happy but I see that I was wrong to trust you and if the family suffers so be it."

Dave couldn't believe he was hearing this and simply watched in horror as Helen carried Stewie through to her bedroom.

"You are really crazy." Stewie remarked. "When the cops find out what you've done you'll be going down for a long time."

"You stay here while mummy makes you some lunch." Helen stated. "This is truly a wonderful day for me."

"Oh I think not." Stewie retorted. "I will soon escape from your stinking fat clutches, one of these days you will be severally punished for your actions."

Meanwhile back at the Mall Lois was waiting in the centre with Peter who was devouring a box of donuts hoping that someone would find Stewie, Chris and Meg then ran up to her.

"Sorry mum we looked everywhere in every nook and cranny but no sign." Meg answered in a disappointed voice. "It's like he just vanished.

"This is terrible." Peter cried in despair. "What do we do now."

"There's a security guard over there." Lois answered in a shaky voice. "We can ask him."

The Griffins ran up to the security guard and Lois explained the situation while trying not to loose it.

"We looked all over the Mall but can't find him anywhere." Lois finished on the verge of tears.

"Did you check the Lost Child's Unit." The guard asked in a calming voice.

"No we didn't." Lois replied.

"So that's where lost kids go." Peter stated while sounding intarested.

"Well we could take you up there and see if your son did turn up there." The Guard suggested. "He probably wandered off and got taken there."

The Griffins followed the Guard up to the Lost Child's Unit, after entering they looked around but could see no sign of Stewie.

"Hmm, I think we might have to get the Police involved." The guard suggested in a grim and sad tone.

"Why?" Lois asked in a fearful voice knowing what the answer might be.

"I think your son may have been abducted." The guard explained.

"Oh my god my baby." Lois cried out in terror.

Meg and Chris just gasped in horror and Peter facepalmed.

"As a father who just made a massive mistake I will now bang my head against this pillar.

he then proceeded to go bang his head against a pillar.

"HOW COULD SOMBODY DO THIS." Chris screamed in terror while running forward.

"Chris watch out for the." Meg warned.

Chris then slammed iinto a pillar and fell unconscious.

"Piller." Meg finished as she went to pick her dim witted brother up.

Meanwhile at the Bar near the Mall Brian was drinking a martini and flirting with a woman.

"So you know I've written a really succesfull novel that you'll probably love." Brian was saying in a slightly drunk voice. "Because I'm that awsome at writting novels not like I'm bragging or anything."

But before Brian could show the woman anymore of his overly large ego Peter and The others barged in, The obese man ran over to Brian and grabbed him by the collar running with him.

"Peter what the hell." Brian exclaimed in horror. "I was having such a great conversation."

"Sorry no time for that Brian Stewie's been kidnapped." Lois explained as everyone bundled themselves into the car.

"What." Brian shouted in alarm.

Peter then explained the situation, afterwords Brian looked down at the floor and saw Stewie's Ray Gun lying there.

Meanwhile back at Helen's untidy Flat the crazed woman was sitting on her bed with Stewie on her knee, she was attempting to feed him out of date, cold baked beans.

"No I won't eat that vile stuff." Stewie protested as Helen tried to force the spoon down his mouth.

"Come on, open up for mummy." Helen begged as she waved the spoon around his face which got on his nerves.

"For the last time you are not my mummy." Stewie snapped.

The talking baby then whacked the spoon and can out of Helen's hands causing some of it to go on the floor.

"You naughty boy." She shrieked. "How dare you."

Stewie jumped off the bed and began running around the flat trying to get out, but Helen was chasing him while knocking things over and chucking stuff at him.

"Get here you little shit." Helen barked as she chased him into her bedroom. "I'm going to give you the biggest spanking of your life."

"Oh no you don't I'm getting out of here." Stewie said as he climbed on to the windowsill.

He was about to climb out and make his way down the Fire Exit when Helen grabbed him by the straps of his Overalls, Stewie managed to not scream out as what felt like a large peace of Lead hit his bottom.

"Maybe that will teach you to behave." Helen snarled.

"Good god what are your hands made of bloody lead." Stewie said in an irritated voice as he rubbed his backside.

Helen then picked up the tin and spoon and threw Stewie on to her knee, the crazed woman then began to force the rest of the can's content down Stewie's throat which forced him to swallow

Helen then grabbed Stewie by the arm and dragged him to a closet.

"I think you need a time out." Helen stated as she opened the door and shoved Stewie into the closet before slamming the door shut, she then locked it.

"Wow what was that." Helen wondered aloud. "You need to stop this woman you can't keep loosing control like that besides that was uncalled for."

"She is one crazy bitch." Stewie pointed out. "No wonder she isn't allowed to adopt any kids."

The Griffins arrived at the Police Station and were reporting Stewie as missing

"Can you tell us how old Stewie is Mrs Griffin?" The Officer at the desk asked.

"He's a year old." Lois replied while sitting down and calming herself down. "He's just a baby."

"And can you tell us what he was wearing when he went missing?" The Officer asked.

"He was wearing a yellow shirt with red overalls with light grey shoes and light blue socks." Lois replied.

"Any distinguishing features?" The man questioned.

"Well his head is shaped like a football." Lois answered sounding more confident. "I've got a picture of him here."

Lois then reached into her purse and took out a photo of Stewie And showed it to the Officer.

"Is this him here?" The Officer asked while eating a box of donuts.

Lois simply nodded.

"We could make some missing Child posters and use this picture." The Officer explained. "That way when Stewie's abduction gets reported on the News it will give us a bigger chance at finding him."

"Oh would you, thank you so much." Lois replied. "If this will help get my baby back then do it."

"Ok Mrs Griffin we'll do everything we can to find your son." The Officer promised. "In fact we'll put our best detective on the case."

"Aww man I wish Joe was here." Peter lamented. "But he's to busy fighting King Kong in Tokyo with Bonnie and Susie."

Over in Tokyo King Kong was smashing buildings when Joe confronted him.

"ALL RIGHT YOU BIG SMELLY APE IT'S TIME TO KICK YOUR ASS." Joe screamed at the top of Hingis. "BRING IT ON."

Back in Quahog at Helen's untidy and smelly Flat Dave was watching TV when Helen walked in looking annoyed.

"Dave." Helen whined. "I think our son has a behavioural problem."

"Why?" Dave asked in an uninterested voice.

Dave was still fuming with rage at what Helen had done, he knew she'd talked about it but never realised till now that she was serious and insane.

"I tried feeding him some baked beans but he just knocked them out of my hand."

"I know that Helen." Dave replied while gritting his teeth. "I noticed you chasing the poor kid around while throwing stuff at him, and did it ever pass through your thick skull or ocour to you that maybe just maybe he was acting up because he wants his real mummy."

Dave then got off the couch and headed for the phone.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Helen demanded as her eyes narrowed.

"Calling the Police." Dave explained in a determined and heroic voice. "I'm going to get that little tyke back to his real parents."

Snarling Helen grabbed a kitchen knife, knocked the phone out of Dave's hand while cutting the line and put the knife to his throat.

"Call the Police or do try and get my son to his so called real parents and I will kill you." Helen growled in a threatning manner.

Dave nodded obediently which made Helen put the knife away.

"Good she said patting his face.


	3. Missing Baby Alert

**(AN Hello there and welcome to the next chapter of Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux) So anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter which is pretty long and introduces a new character and an OC created by me, I know shocking huh me coming up with my own characters the world is truly falling apart, anyway also warning but this chapter does contain some dark themes and mature subject matter, disclaimer I don't own Family Guy or the OCs Helen and Dave Parks.)**

That evening Stewie was dragged over to a box in the hallway by his captor and shoved in.

"Oi what the hell do you think you're doing?" Stewie demanded in an irritated voice. "Is this what you call a bed, I've never seen more horrible room service this is ridiculas."

"Go to sleep and quit whining." Helen stated. "When I was a baby I slept like that all the time and never complained, besides it's quite comfy don't you think."

"I wouldn't call this comfy." The infant retorted. "And what about a goodnight hug, a goodnight kiss, a bedtime story, a bath, Clene clothes and pyjamas, a stuffed animal to hold."

"All those things are for whimps." The crazed woman explained. "Besides when you grow up you'll find you don't need those things, at least that's what my parents say."

Helen then walked away while humming happily."

"What a cow." Stewie growled as he fell asleep. "All I ask for is room service and I get a bed box, this is so humiliating."

Stewie then fell asleep.

Later on Peter woke up in bed and found that Lois wasn't lying next to him, Peter saw that it was midnight on his alarm clock and got out of bed, he then went into the hallway and found Lois in Stewie's bedroom crying and hugging Rupert.

"Lois what are you doing in here?" Peter asked as he approached his wife.

"Oh I'm sorry Peter I just had a horrible nightmare." Lois explained in a broken voice. "I was in this dark room and there were these men in masks hurting him, I begged them to stop but they just forced me to watch."

Peter then embraced Lois in a hug while patting her back.

"It's going to be ok Lois." Peter reassured her. "Besides I'm sure Stewie's safe and sound wherever he is, and hay did you just say men wearing masks."

"Well of course Peter." Lois retorted. "Only men are capable of kidnapping children, women can't abduct children it's not in our nature, and I know that some evil bastard has my baby."

Peter decided not to argue with Lois instead he escorted her back to bed, however Lois took Rupert with her in order to comfort her and remind her of Stewie, Meanwhile Brian who had overheard this quickly snuck into Meg's room, Meg was also awake and sitting on the bed with Chris.

"How's mum doing?" Meg asked in a concerned voice.

"Terrible." Brian replied. "And I don't blame her this is the first time somthing like this has happened in Quahog and it's hit Lois pretty hard."

"But there was the time I used Stewie and Basicaly gave him to Child Services." Meg lamented.

"What happened back then wasn't your fault Meg." Brian stated. "You just wannted that bag so badly and Stewie was willing to help, none of you could've known that would happen."

"Well we need to do somthing to save Stewie and bring him home." Meg replied. "I lost him once before and I'm not going to loose him again, so I suggest we go out and figure this out for ourselves."

Brian agreed and after making sure that Peter and Lois were fast asleep took Meg and Chris out to his car and together they headed for the Mall, the trio then snuck in through a large vent on the wall and found the Toy Store, Brian then started to sniff around.

"What are you doing Brian?" Chris asked.

"Trying to sniff out Stewie's Scent." Brian explained. "If I can retrace Peter and Stewie's steps I can find out how Stewie got abducted."

Brian then began to wander through the Toy Store and quickly found Stewie's scent, he continued to follow it into the Game centre and found that it soon changed directions from Peter's Scent.

"Hmm it seems that Peter went on to the Pac-Man machine and Stewie went to the Xbox's and that's where he must've been abducted."

Brian crept over to the Xbox's and almost vomited as a fowl smell of Alcahall breath, unwashed hair and sweaty unwashed armpits reached him.

"Oh good god." Brian remarked. "It seems that whoever took Stewie has no sense of haigheen whatsoever."

"Brian you somtimes poo on the floor and roll around in mud before getting it on the floor." Chris commented in a teasing voice. "So you can't say anything."

"You know what Chris just be quiet." Brian barked. "I'm a dog so I have more privileges than humans, and besides when we find Stewie I might get a big reward and girls will love me."

24 Hours passed after Stewie was kidnapped and it was about to be reported on the News that day.

"Come on Peter the news is on." Lois called from the Living Room.

"Ok Lois I'm coming." Peter said as he charged from the kitchen while eating a tub of Ice Cream, Peter then fell on his face and the Ice Cream went on the floor but Peter continued to eat it from there before sitting on the couch.

 **Cutaway To TV**

"Good evening I'm Tom Tucker." Tom stated.

"And I'm Diane Simmons." Diane replied. "Later on we've got the continuation of the Ally Cat war in Quahog alleyways but first our top story, yesterday afternoon at Quahog City Mall an infant was abducted from his parents."

"The baby known as Stewie Griffin was last seen in the Happy Go Lucky Toy Store with his father local idiot Peter Griffin just seconds before he was snatched." Diane continued. "We now go live to our Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa who is at the scene of the crime."

"Thank you Diane." Tricia said as she stood outside the Toy Store which was blocked with Police tape. "As you can see the Toy Store has been blocked off by Police who are now looking for any clues relating to the disappearance of the young infant.

"Thank you Tricia." Tom replied. "Stewie is described as being a year old with a head shaped like a football which could make it impossible for the abductor to disquise him because he would be very recognisable with his head."

"Missing Child Posters have been placed around the City so anyone who has any information must call the Police at once." Diane imformed. "And now back to The Land Before Time 7 Stone Of Cold Fire."

 **End Cutaway**

"Wow Tv is so insensitive these days." Lois remarked. "My baby's been kidnapped and they're showing a movie where a kid character gets kidnapped."

After a few minutes the Police came around to the house with a tall man who had black hair and wore a suit.

"Mrs Griffin I'd like you to meet Detective Matt Murdock of the Quahog Police." The Officer stated.

"Holy Crap Daredevil." Peter cried out in an excited voice.

"I'm not Daredevil Mr Griffin." Matt replied while chuckling." But I will try and help get your son back and figure out why this person took him."

After everyone sat down and had some coffee Peter explained to Matt what had happened.

"Well there are many reasons a person could abduct a child." Matt began. "They could just want to keep Stewie as their own son if they're not allowed to have any children, or they could be holding him hostage and demanding a ransom, or they could be smuggling him out of the country and trying to sell him into slave labour, and finnaly they could be a sick creep."

"And it could be any one of them." Lois remarked in a terrified voice.

"Do you have anyone living on your street who acts suspiciously like a sick creep?" Matt asked.

"Not that we know of." Lois said.

"What about Mr Herbert." Meg remarked. "He's always trying to get my younger brother Chris to take his shirt off or invite him in for lemonade and he lives alone and has films with suspicious titles, and he's just a weirdo."

"I have to agree with Meg." Lois replied. "I've never been comfortable with letting Chris talk to him or visit him and I would never let Stewie anywhere near that creep, aI lthough Peter dosn't see the problem and thinks he's a confused old man."

"You're very wise for being cautious Mrs Griffin." Matt replied. "I'll get the Police to raid his home and see if he has Stewie there."

"Oh thank you." Lois replied.

"But you know this whole thing reminds me of one of the most troubling cases I ever did." Matt began."The case of the Child Snatcher."

"I remember hearing that." Lois replied. "Wasn't he a mysterious figure wearing a trench coat who abducted over a hundred children within a week all ranging from the ages of one to Twelve."

"That's correct." The detective replied. "And there was no pattern to his captors, but we finnaly cornered him in a wearhouse after he abducted my daughter Rosie, and soon we found out from one of the kids why he did it."

 **Flashback**

In a rather large wearhouse a huge group of children were staring at a short obese figure wearing a trench coat and a hat.

"Welcome my children to your new life." The Child Snatcher began in a distorted male voice. "I have done you a favour and saved you from the cruality of parents and being left to deal with life at a young age while those fools look the other way, but don't be sad because I'll always look after you."

"Wait a minute." A brown haired girl who looked about ten said. "I read about you in the papers, you're not our friend you're a crook."

The Child Snatcher moved towards them and burst into song.

(Song being parodied is the Toy Taker song from Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer And The Island Of Misfit Toys.)

You think I'm mean and a nasty fiend

cause I'm known for stealing lots of kids

The Child Snatcher moved over to the ten year old and placed his hands on her ears while rocking her head back and forth

But close your ears to those things you here

They're lies from sniggly girls and boys

The man then approached another girl

Cause they might flatter you when you're born

But sooner or later they will grow away

and they'll leave you behind to fend for yourself

No they won't care about you, they won't care for you

But I am a wonderful guy.

I'd never treat a child the way those parents do

The figure then gave the girl a tissue to dry her eyes

and though, you may not wanna go

The Child Snatcher that's me

Will take care of you, and you, and you.

A brand new child full of pride and joy at first will have a prrrrrremo time

But then some adult drops you on your head and poof your gone before your time

A broken nose that's the way it goes

A missing nail think of how you'll feel

When your nose starts running and you start to cough

The Child Snatcher began coughing three times

Will they ever know

But I I'm a heck of a guy

I'll treat you with respect until my face turns blue

And yes I'm filled with finesse

The Child Snatcher, who else

Will take care of you, and you, and you, and you

I'm a really peacful fellow, at heart I'm soft as jelo

My modus aparandai

Is Influanced by Gaundai

So cheer, cause the Child Snatcher's here

You'll never get disgraced or get thrown away

I swear what I'm saying is true

The Child Snatcher that's me

Will take care of you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you

So this Child Snatcher will choose you, before those ingrates loose you

I will always love you tender

You won't be returned to Sender

Yes I descend from the sky

And rescue each and every child with skill and flair

That's why I do all that I do

The Child Snatcher that's me, will take care of you, and you, and you, and you, and you.

Just as the mysterious figure finished singing there was a massive explosion and a dozen SWAT Officers charged in followed by Matt.

"Alright kids you're free." Matt yelled through a megaphone. "Get out."

Every child instantly ran out the building, but just as the brown haired girl tried running the Child Snatcher grabbed her and attempted to run off, but Rosie pulled away causing the Child Snatcher to pull a gun out.

"No Rosie don't leave me." The Child Snatcher cried out.

He then tried to grab Rosie again but she bit him in the arm causing the Child Snatcher to accidentally pull the trigger near Rosie's head.

"NOOOOOOOO." Matt screamed in rage as he saw Rosie's limp form fall to the floor.

 **End Flashback**

"The Child Snatcher got away and all we found was his Trench coat and a voice modifier." Matt finished as he wiped his eyes. "But he took my daughter and accident or no accident he murdered her and my wife blamed me for letting her get kidnapped."

"You shouldn't be blamed." Lois said in a reassuring voice. "You just looked away for a second and she was gone, I mean I'm not going to give Peter hate just for a mistake and plus it was only once and I'm sure it won't happen again right Peter."

"You can trust me Lois."

Everyone else nodded in agreement

"I'm responsible." Peter replied as he walked out the front door.

Suddenly a bag of nickels came and hit Peter in the groin causing him to fall over.

"Arrrgghh son of a bitch." Peter cried out in pain as he clutched his privates.

More bags of nickels came flying out of nowhere and continued to hit Peter while everyone else just laughed.

"What do you want from me." Peter wailed while crying hysterically.

Back at Helen's flat Dave was watching the News report and was hyperventilating, he then turned to Helen who was smirking at him.

"Everyone knows Helen, everyone knows about the kid." Dave stated in an overly hysterical and nervous voice. "Why don't you just take him back before we both end up in trouble?"

"I'll do no such thing." Helen barked as she threw a glass at Dave who dodged just in time. "He's my son and I ain't giving him back.

"But I'll get into so much trouble for harbouring a criminal since I'm liable to the cause." Dave explained in a panicky voice. "Don't you get it Helen I'm LIABLE TO THE CAUSE."

Helen just slapped Dave across the face and told him to quit whining before sitting on the couch.

Stewie then entered the room.

"Hay fatso I need changing here I've just done a fudgey." The infant imformed her, however Helen just ignored him causing Stewie to run up and kick her in the ankle.

"Ow." She growled while glaring at Stewie. "Don't kick your mummy, you should learn some manners."

"Come on Helen he's just a baby." Dave stated in a nervous voice. "He dosn't know any better.

Dave then lifted Stewie into his arms and felt his nappy.

"Oh my god someone needs a Clene diaper." Dave imformed.

"Well done Point Dexter." Stewie remarked in a sarcastic voice. "I'll give you a meddle for being the first to notice that I've done a fudgey."

"We don't have any Diapers, go to the store and buy some, and get some more baby clothes too." Helen ordered.

Without hesitation Dave put Stewie Down and raced out the flat with his wallet, Stewie seizing his chance ran into the kitchen and jumped onto the counter, he then grabbed the largest and sharpest kitchen knife he could find.

"Now Fat bitch it's time for you to die." Stewie declared as he leapt in front of Helen while aiming his knife at her, Helen however was unphased and took the knife off him before putting it back in the kitchen.

"No you don't touch knife." Helen snarled. "Bad baby."

Stewie winced slightly as he felt another smack to his bottom.

"Jesus I wish you would stop doing that." Stewie admitted. "That's child abuse."

"You will soon learn to behave young man." Helen spat. "Now give mummy a big cuddle.

"No." Stewie protested before Helen picked him up and gave him a massive hug and then kissing him all over the forehead in the same way Lois would.

"Good god this is worse than when I encountered Fat Bastard at McDonald's." Stewie declared in a horrified voice.

 **Flashback**

Stewie is waiting in line at McDonald's when suddenly an extremely fat person cut in front.

"Hay fatty I was before you." Stewie declared.

The man then turned around and revealed himself to be Fat Bastard.

"Well, well what do we have here?" The man asked in a thick Scottish accent. "A baby come here baby I'm gonna eat you so get in my belly."

"I think not fatty." Stewie said as he whipped his Ray Gun out.

"I like to eat baby." Fat Bastard explained. "I'm gonna eat you with Chips and Ketchup, so get in my belly."

"Sorry fatso but you're not going to be eating any babies today." Stewie said.

The young infant then vapourised Fat Bastard with his gun.

 **End Flashback**

Dave came back a few minutes later with a bag full of Nappies and Clothes.

"Give me them now." Helen snarled as she snatched the bag off of him.

"Now let's get you changed into a Clene Diaper and some Clene clothes." Helen stated.

She then changed Stewie's Nappy before taking his clothes off, but before the crazed woman could put the new ones on Stewie leapt off the bed and put his clothes back on.

"Alright Point Dexter now." Stewie yelled as he ran for the Fire exit.

Dave then leapt on top of Helen and tried to floor her but Helen was strong and threw Dave Off.

"HAY GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT." Helen screamed as she chased after Stewie.

Stewie was laughing hysterically as he ran down the fire exit and out into the Car Park.

"Ha can't catch me now bitch." Stewie stated as be continued to run away from the Flat, Helen was just coming up to the bottom stair on the Fire exit but had to stop to catch her breath, she then tried to catch sight of Stewie but couldn't see him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Helen screamed as she kicked the banister in anger, Dave then came out to try and comfort her.

"Well I knew he would escape." Dave stated. "But I did try to warn him and he was starting to grow on me."

"I'm going after him Dave." Helen snarled. "The poor kids to young to be out there on his own he could get run over or somthing."

Meanwhile Stewie was hiding behind some bins.

"Phew I think I lost her." Stewie stated. "That was close

Suddenly he heard the sound of large footsteps and a voice with a thick Texan accent.

"Oh baby where are you?" Helen called out in a concerned voice. "Mummy misses you."

Stewie was just thinking of running when Helen peered over the bins with a relived look on her face.

"There you are you bastard." Helen growled as she grabbed Stewie and walked back to her Flat.

"Blast." Stewie cried out in an annoyed tone. "My second escape attempt has failed, but I can keep trying."

 **(AN And that was Chapter 3 and the longest Chapter I've ever done so remember, read review and tell me what you thought, and here's an update I decided to remove the jab at those British parents, I mean let's be honest nobody knows what happened to that girl and it would be rude to jab at those poor parents.**


	4. How To Kill A Fat Woman

**(AN, Hello and welcome to Chapter 4 of this redux, this chapter actualy has some fun cameos from other Family Guy OCs, and in case you're curious yes I do consider these fanfics canon to an extent and this is how I would fit them into the main canon, Matt Kenady from The SpellBook is with Katie Rose from Family Guy OC Universe, Zack Murdock is with Persephone from Family Guy MC, but she dumps him after Season 9 and he goes with Nichole from Meg's Boyfriend Matt Ryder is with Connie, and just to finish Eddie who dosn't come to Quahog till Season 10 is with the Meg clone from Meg's Family and Amy will be with Chris, Anyway I own none of these OCs and oh yeah I still don't own Family Guy.**

 **Chapter 4 How To Kill A Fat Woman**

Helen was practically dragging Stewie back to the Flat, the genius infant was still annoyed that his second escape attempt had failed.

"You are a very naughty boy." Helen grunted. "Perhaps another two hours in the closet will teach you a Leason, no more running off you could've been killed or kidnapped."

"Shut up bitch." Stewie yelled as he kicked Helen in the ankle causing her to scream in pain. "You're not my mother and you can't tell me what to do."

"THAT'S IT." Helen screamed in a furious manner. "IT'S THREE HOURS IN THE CLOSET NOW YOUNG MAN."

She then grabbed Stewie by the back of his overall straps and flung him into the dark closet, Stewie then started banging on the door demanding to be let out.

"STOP THAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL LEAVE YOU IN THERE ALL NIGHT IF I HAVE TO." Helen screamed at the near top of her lungs.

"I'm just glad you're safe." She replied in a much calmer voice. "You gave mummy such a big fright and I'm sorry for yelling I just can't help myself with my bi Polar disorder."

"Bloody hell that woman has a gob on her." Stewie muttered in annoyance as he sat in the corner and picked up a Tennis Ball.

"Now why would she have a Tennis Ball?" She probably dosn't even play Tennis, she's so fat I bet she dosn't do any excersise, she probably just sits there all day eating Chips and Chocolate."

Stewie then started to throw the Ball up and down in his hands.

"My second attempt may have failed but I can keep trying." Stewie stated.

Meanwhile all throughout Quahog the residents were out in force looking for Stewie calling out his name and searching in every place possible, and then they would meet back at the Griffin's House to report to Lois and Matt who were there just in case any phone calls came through, the groups included one led by Meg's friend Matt Kenady along with his dad, younger sister and daughter who were searching downtown, another group led by Meg and Chris with more of her friends and their family searched in the parks with Brian, and Peter, Quagmire searched uptown the groups finnaly converged back at the house after a few hours.

"Did you find anything?" Lois asked.

"We searched all of the downtown area but couldn't find a trace of him." Matt Stated.

"No sign in the parks either." Brian replied.

"Well we've had the Police searching in the water and the forest." Matt explained. "But there's been no indication of any body, plus we asked all staff at Quahog Airport and the Docks and there's no record of anyone suspicious leaving Quahog ruling smuggling out, and there's been no ransom demand ruling that out."

"So that means the only other one is that this guy wants to keep Stewie as their child." Lois explained in a nervous voice. "Plus that raid on Herbert's house found no evidence against him and this guy is obviously still in Quahog."

"Yeah and plus me and the guys went to this flat two miles away from the Toy Store and all that was there was a scary, grumpy Fat woman." Peter explained. "And I found a baby that I thought was Stewie but it wasn't cause I nearly got beat up by the mother."

"Now, now Lois women are just as capable of doing that." Helen Wayne remarked. "Well I suppose I'd better be off."

"Come on guys every second counts." A Police Officer stated. "If we don't find him within 48 hours then the chance becomes higher that he's dead and lying in a ditch rotting."

The Police Officer gasped in shock and slapped his hands over his mouth while Matt gave him a be more sensitive glare.

"Oops I'm sorry me and my big mouth." The Officer stated.

The rest of the group departed along with Matt and the Officer who was with him, Lois then sat on the couch and began to panic.

"What if we never see him again?" Lois remarked in a shaky voice. "What if..."

"Lois calm down, we'll find Stewie we've just got to be patient." Peter imformed.

"But what if it's to late." Lois replied almost sobbing. "What if."

Lois then broke down completley, Peter could only sit next to her and pat her shoulder.

"Don't worry Lois the Police will catch the bitch or bastard who took Stewie." Peter reassured. "We will see him again."

"Who do you think could've taken him?" Chris asked.

"I have a very good idea who it might be." Petr stated.

"Oh really who?" Brian asked in a curious voice.

"Michel Jackson." Peter replied.

Everyone looked at Peter with dumbfounded faces leaving Peter confused.

"Never mind I'm gonna get a Pop Tart." Peter explained.

Meanwhile back at the Flat Stewie was pacing up and down the closet trying to figure out a way to escape and kill Helen which made him board.

"I've got to beat the boredom." Stewie remarked. "I know I'll think of ways to kill that Whale Woman."

Stewie then sat down and began to think.

"Oh yes I could use some of that I could." Stewie said aloud in an overly cheerful voice. "yep, yep yep."

"Well you're a very cheerful baby for being trapped in this nuthouse." A voice said.

"Who said that?" Stewie asked.

"Up here." The voice replied.

Stewie then looked up and saw a slightly large black Spider dangling from the ceiling.

"A talking Spider." Stewie remarked. "Wow and I thought only dogs could talk."

"Ha people are so stubborn." The Spider said. "The names Sam Sam The Spider and you are?"

"Stewie Griffin." The infant replied. "AKA future ruler of this world."

"Well if you're that smart why don't you just figure out a way to escape?" Sam asked.

"Well I left all my stuff back at home." Stewie explained. "And besides that miserable Fatass wants to keep me as her son."

"Well that's no Suprised." Same replied. "She's afraid of Spiders for a bizarre reason, but it's fun to watch her squirm and shriek in fear, and plus I've no idea why she keeps the Tennis Ball, she destroyed the Tennis Racket after Dave left the Toilet Seat up, I'm just waiting until she leaves or drops dead so that I can escape and live outside."

"Well maybe I can help you." Stewie remarked. "I've still got hope, I mean if Littlefoot and the others could make it to the Great Vally and Petrie learned how to fly and kill Sharptooth then a simple infant and a Spider can escape this closet."

The young infant thought so hard that he fell asleep.

Dave Meanwhile was cleaning around the kitchen and grumbling under his breath while Helen sat on the couch eating Orios.

"Are you going to get off your fat arse and help me, or are you just going to sit there eating Orios you fat pig?"

Helen angered by this leapt off the couch and began advancing towards Dave while snarling.

"Now Helen take it easy." Dave cried out in a nervous voice. "I-I was just kidding ok I'll make it up to you I swear to god."

Helen charged at her cowering husband and bit his arm causing the poor man to scream in pain.

"Bitch." Dave snapped before realising his mistake. "No wait please I didn't mean."

Helen then slapped him across the face and kicked him in the groin.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A FAT PIG AGAIN YOU HERE." Helen bellowed in Dave's face.

Dave nodded nervously and ran from the room while shaking in fear and crying slightly, Dave then went into his and Helen's bedroom to look for somthing and jumped up in fright when he saw what was inside the closet.

"HELEN GET IN HERE NOW." He shouted.

Stewie snorted loudly and woke up looking around in confusion.

"Uh shut up Fatman where's the fire." Stewie said as he came round.

Helen then charged in with a panicked look on her face.

"What's the matter Dave is Stewie ok?" Helen asked as she scooped Stewie up into her arms and looked at him.

"What is that?" Dave asked as he gestured at Stewie.

"It's a baby stupid." Helen replied sarcastically while rolling her eyes.

"I know it's a baby Helen." Dave answered in an irritated voice. "It's the baby you kidnapped from the Goddam Toy Store, I mean what was he doing locked in the closet?"

"I was teaching him a Leason." Helen remarked in an overly cheerful voice. "He was being a naught baby and needed to be punished, didn't you, yes you did, yes you did."

Helen then started tickling Stewie and blowing raspberries on his belly which made him laugh despite himself and Dave almost vomited.

"Come on Helen he's a baby." Dave remarked. "He dosn't understand."

Helen just slapped him and kicked him in the groin again.

"Ouch." Stewie remarked. "That had to hurt."

"You're going to bed you monster." Helen said as she dragged Stewie to the bed box by his wrist, she then flung him in. "Now go to sleep or help me God I swear it won't be pretty."

"What are you going to do?" Stewie stated in an overly sarcastic voice. "Eat me?"

"Don't you dare suggest such a thing." Helen barked as she marched away. "I may be many things but I'm certainly not a cannibal or a child murderer, and don't give me that look either now sleep."

Just as Helen walked through to the living room Sam came out and began terrifying Helen causing her to cower behind Dave and beg him to kill it.

"Whatever." Stewie remarked. "But I will..."

Stewie stopped mid sentence as he yawned.

"I will..." Stewie tried to finish but couldn't and he fell asleep.

Meanwhile over at the Drunken Clam Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Matt were drinking and talking.

"You know I actualy realised that I slept with that woman we met at the Flat." Quagmire stated. "Her name's Helen Parks met her at a nightclub a while back and we went back to her flat and had a womderful time ohh yeah."

Peter, Cleveland and Matt just stared at Quagmire with their mouths hanging open.

"Wait seriously." Peter stated.

"Yep, then of course her husband came in and beat me up." Quagmire replied. "AHay maybe I should do that to cheer up Lois take her up town have some fun giggidy giggidy, giggidy goo all riiiiiiggghhhhtttt."

"Well actualy a vigil might help." Matt replied. "You know just to show her we care and plus that name Quagmire told me sounds familiar."

"That sounds cool." Peter replied.

Later on Stewie was shaken gently awake by Dave.

"Huh." Stewie said as he looked up at Dave with a confused expression.

"Shhhhh." Dave said in a quiet voice. "I'm getting you out of here, but we need to be quiet so that Helen dosn't see."

"Thank God." Stewie stated in a releaved voice as Dave lifted him up and crept towards the front door.

"Don't worry little guy." Dave stated. "I'll get you back to your real mummy and daddy."

"I think not." an angry voice from behind said.

Dave then gulped before turning around while shaking nervously.

"Hand him over or due." Helen said as she pointed a pistol at them.

( **(AN Dun Dun Dunnnn, I do love Cliffhangers don't you, well I all hope you enjoyed this Chapter and remember to leave a review to say what you thought.)**


	5. Some Comforting Words

**(AN Hello and welcome to the next chapter of Stewie And The Fat Woman Redux and before we begin I just have to ask, was I the only one who was unsettled by the ending to Dearly Deported, I mean sure it's non-canon but the Griffins all get murdered by Mongoose, anyway on to the Chapter.**

 **Chapter 5 Some Comforting Words.**

Dave didn't know what to do, Helen was standing in front of him while pointing her pistol.

"Helen stop being a crazy bitch." Dave stated in a pleading voice. "I've let your bi Polar disorder get way out of hand and I apologise, so please just put the gun down and I can help you."

"Give him back to me now or I'll shoot you." Helen snarled angrly. "Please I love you and I don't want to do this, but if you don't listen then I'll have to kill you."

Dave just gulped while Stewie leapt out of his arms, the infant imediatly grabbed Helen's gun and aimed it at her head.

"And now it's time for you to meet your end bitch." Stewie growled in anger. "And then everyone can be free of your wickednis."

"Oh god please don't kill me I'm begging you." Helen begged as tears welled up in her eyes. "You wouldn't kill your own mummy would you, I love you."

"Stewie stop put the gun down." Dave stated in a firm voice.

"NO." Stewie bellowed. "I don't care if she's got bi polar disorder or not, I don't care if she loves me, and I don't care if she needs help, she kidnapped me from my parents and I'm not going to let this vile scum live any longer I'm going to blow her brains out and get back to my real mummy."

Stewie then started to pull the trigger back, but suddenly an unknown force seemed to stop him.

"What am I doing?" Stewie thought to himself as he dropped the gun. "I can't kill a woman who just wants help, I mean sure she kidnapped me but if I did that I'd be no better than her dark side."

Helen then grinned evily as she picked the pistol up.

You're to young to be playing with guns, NOW GET BACK IN YOUR BED BOX." She shrieked.

"NO." Dave yelled as his face turned bright red. "THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH HELEN."

Helen then shrieked like a wild animal and smacked Dave round the face which caused him to fall back and hit his head against the door, Stewie looked on horrofied and this soon turned to terror when Helen advanced towards him.

"COME HERE." Helen screamed. "COME HERE NOW."

Suddenly Sam came down from the celling and began tormenting Helen who was stumbling about in a blind panic.

"Damn she always spoils everything." Stewie muttered as he ran into the spare bedroom and sealed the door with the bed. "The four eyed stick man was helping me escape and she spoiled it, every time I try to escape she spoils it, I'll need to think of another way to get out of here."

Stewie then scanned the room and spotted a Laptop.

"Ahha my problems are solved." Stewie said as he walked over to the Laptop and opening it up.

"If this has the intarnet on it I could send a message to Brian on Facebook and tell him where I am and he can tell The others and hey presto everyone is freed." Stewie explained to himself.

"Oh I could kiss that PointDexter." Stewie declared before realising. "Perhaps not because that would be gay and I'm certainly not gay, no definatly not, now I must go on Facebook and inform Brian of my whereabouts and then I might have a chance of getting out of here."

Just as Stewie was about to go onto Facebook the bedroom door burst open and Helen marched in with a look of pure rage on her face.

"GET AWAY FROM THAT LAPTOP." Helen barked as she grabbed Stewie by the wrist.

"Let Go of me you fat Cow." Stewie protested in anger as he tried to beat Helen with his tiny fists, but Helen ignored him and flung the mad infant back into the box.

"NOW STAY IN THERE AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL I SAY YOU CAN." Helen shrieked which caused Stewie's ears to jump.

"Good god woman how loud can that gob of yours get?" he asked sarcasticaly. "I'll end up being deaf by the time you've finished shouting, oh my god I'll probably end up like the Greased Up Deaf Guy."

 **Cutaway**

The Greesed Up Deaf Guy was running around the Park yelling in his usual high pitched voice.

"I'm a running bird, I'm a running bird and you cannot catch me." The Greesed Up Deaf Guy declared.

Stewie then walked up to him while just wearing a Diaper and covered in greese.

"You are not." Stewie said in a high pitched voice.

"I am." The greese covered man replied.

"No you're not, you are an idiot." He said in response.

"Don't make fun of me you baby." The Greesed Up Deaf Guy replied in a hurt voice.

"Who are you calling a baby?" Stewie asked in an irritated voice.

"I'm sorry wanna be friends?" The Greesed Up Deaf Guy asked. "We are both deaf and Greesed up, we could be The Greesed Up Deaf Guys."

 **End Cutaway**

"Whoa that's a disturbing thought." Stewie said. "I mustn't think about it."

Helen looked over at Dave who was still knocked out.

"I'll make sure he dosn't try and take my baby away from me again." Helen stated as she lifted the box up and carried it through to her room.

"Oh now what's she doing." The young infant sighed in boardom.

Helen opened her closet door and shoved the box inside.

"You'll be spending the night in here." Helen explained in a calm but sinister manner. "If my husband thinks he's taking you away from me then he's got another thing coming, your mine now and I'll prove to you that I can love you."

As soon as the crazed woman turned her back on Stewie, he gave her the bird.

"I believe this belongs to you bitch." Stewie remarked.

Meanwhile at the Griffins house Lois was in her bedroom flipping through a photo album showing pictures of Stewie, Lois then closed the book and began to sing.

(AN Song being parodied is Sally's Song from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

I sense there's somthing in the wind.

That feels like tragadeys at hand

And though I'd like to stand by them.

Can't shake this feeling that I have

The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice how dissapointed I am in him

And will he see, the error of his ways, I think it's not to be.

Lois then walked through to Stewie's bedroom and picked up Rupert while starring at Stewie's cot and trying hard not to cry.

Lois: What will become of my little Stewie

Where will Peter's actions lead him then

And though I'd like to join the crowd in their enthusiastic cloud.

Try as I may it dosn't last

And will we ever see him again.

No I think not, it's never to become.

For he is lost forever.

"Hay Lois are you ok?" Brian asked before realising how stupid that question was.

"I just want him back Brian." Lois answered in a broken voice. "I just want my little Stewie back."

Lois then sank to her knees and began hugging Rupert, Brian then stood on one of Stewie's stools and placed his arm around her shoulder.

"It's going to be ok Lois." He reassured her. "The Police will find him and you will have him back, I'm certain of it.

"He must be really scared." Lois stated. "God knows what's happening to him this minute."

"Well we'll be going to that big Vigil." Brian said. "Maybe that will cheer you up."

"I can't believe someone would just take him like that." Lois commented. "If Peter had just kept an eye on Stewie like he was supposed to none of this would've happened and I would still have my little Stewie, if the Police don't find him soon, I might never see my baby ever again."

Later on Helen walked through to the living room she swore she could here singing, Helen then drew back the curtains and was shocked by what she saw, there was a large Vigil taking place with almost the entire town out in force and in front of a painting of Stewie stood the Griffins, this sight sickened Helen who stormed out of the flat to give them a peace of her mind.

Meanwhile down at the Vigil Lois was thanking everyone for coming and showing there suport, however she also added that she didn't want pity or sympathy from anybody since that would be petty.

"Well it's been nice seeing that you all care about Stewie." Lois stated. "Since he's the one we should be worried about not me."

"Lois is right." Peter remarked. "And we're also thankful for the suport from Quahog residents and for keeping this incident contained within Quahog."

However before Meg could say her bit there was the sound of people groaning in annoyance and large feet stomping towards the main stage, suddenly a Fat Woman with greesey hair appeared right in front of them.

"Oh good god get over yourself." Helen stated in an irritated voice.

"Excuse me And just who do you think you are?" Lois questioned as she approached the woman.

"Oh I'm just the crazy fat woman from the flat over there." Helen explained. "But you can call me Helen."

"Well Helen I'm Lois Griffin and I don't think I like your attitude." Lois replied in an angry voice.

"Well i'm sorry that you lost your son." Helen said in a sarcastic voice. "But I'm sure you'll catch the evil Psychopath who took him and get him back."

"What do you know about this?" Matt asked as he ran in between the two ladies."

"Oh nothing, nothing." Helen replied in a sinister voice. "I would certainly never go around abducting children and try to keep them as my own."

"Yeah well I think you're suspicious." Quagmire yelled out. "When we slept together you said you used to be a natorious criminal known as The Child Snatcher."

Matt just gasped in horror as his blood ran cold, he then looked into Helen's eyes and instantly knew there was somthing familiar about them.

"Uh I've gotta go." Matt cried out in horror as he ran off with several Police Officers following him.

"You mean you're the sick asshole who murdered Matt's daughter." Meg yelled out in a brave voice as she put her fists up. "If you've so much as laid a finger on my brother I will tear you limb from limb."

"I'd watch your tongue girl if I were you." Helen replied. "I'm certainly not the Child Snatcher and I certainly haven't got your brother now piss off."

Heen then roared at Meg causing her and Chris to run to the back of the stage and hug each other while shaking nervously which caused Lois to run at Helen to punch her but Helen just knocked her to the ground and stormed off.

"Don't think you can fight me." Helen snarled. "I have far better things to look forward to like my new life with my new Son."

Peter then helped Lois to her feet and glared at Helen.

"What was all that about?" Peter asked.

"I don't know." Lois replied. "But I've got a bad feeling about her, I think she knows more than she's letting on."

 **(AN well that was Chapter 5 I hope you enjoyed it and remember to read and leave a review to tell me what you though**


	6. A Clue At Last

**(AN Hello everyone and welcome to Chapter Six of Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux) Warning this chapter begins with some disturbing imagery and as usual I don't own Family Guy.)**

 **Chapter 6 A Clue At Last.**

Peter and Lois were running through a forest ahead of Matt and several Police Officers, they then came into a large clearing area which had Police Tape around it, two people were digging a large hole and imediatly brought out a small cardboard Box, Lois was shaking in fear and breathing rapidly dreading what might be in there, One Officer then opened the box and pulled out Stewie's Skeleton which was still wearing clothes, Lois imeadiatly fell to her knees and began weeping, she could feel Pete shaking her shoulder and calling her name in a distorted voice.

Lois suddenly bolted awake in bed while gasping and clutching her chest, she then saw Peter looking at her with a concerned face.

"Lois are you ok?" Peter asked. "You were having a nightmare.

"I'm fine Peter." Lois reassured him in a nervous voice. "But that dream felt so real, we were in a Forrest and found Stewie dead it was horrible."

Lois then broke down while sobbing on to Peter who simply hugged his wife, suddenly the phone rang and Lois dried her eyes and picked it up.

"Hello." Lois said.

"Lois, Lois." Matt cried out in an overly excited voice. "You've gotta get down to the station right now the Police found CCTV footage from the Mall showing someone suspicious.

"Oh my god." Lois said in a shocked voice. "Don't worry Matt we'll get down there right away.

Lois hung up the phone and explained the situation to Peter, the couple quickly got dressed and left the house while telling Brian to be in charge, after a few minutes Peter and Lois arrived at the Police Station where Matt and the Chief were waiting.

"Ah Mrs Griffin thank the stars you're here." The Chief remarked as he led the couple into a room with a small TV. "Now at around about midnight last night the Security Team at the Mall recovered footage showing a figure leaving the Mall with somthing you may find intaresting."

"Is it Stewie?" Lois asked in a concerned voice.

"Aww you ruined the suprise." The Chief moaned in a pouty voice. "I was going to build it up just to create suspense, can't have any fun around here can you."

The Chief then composed himself when he saw Matt glare at him with a get to the point face.

"Well anyway let me show you the footage." The Chief said as he placed a DVD into the DVD player.

The screen then flickered and showed homemade footage of the Chief singing loudly in the shower while dancing and eating Donuts.

"OH MY GOD IT'S HIDIOUS." Lois yelled out in horror.

"Oh crap wrong disk." The Chief stated in embaressment as he pulled the disk out and replaced it with another while laughing nervously.

The screen then flickered again before cutting to CCTV footage of the entrance to the Quahog Mall, there were a few people wandering about with nothing out of the ordinery until an obese figure wearing a trench coat came charging through while wobbling about, just as the figure was about to leave the camera's view a small football shaped head poked out of the coat before being shoved back in.

"Who The hell is that?" Peter asked as he was only slightly paying attention

"That is the unmistakable figure of the Child Snatcher. "Matt explained in an agitated voice. "And I also believe that the woman at the Vigil may be linked."

"Oh my god my baby." Lois muttered in a horrofied voice. "What can we do."

"The best thing we can do at the moment is to create a TV appeal to convince this person to give Stewie back." Matt replied.

Soon after Peter and Lois arrived back home and explained the situation to everyone else.

"Brian we need to go to that Flat." Meg suggested. "It might be our only chance to save Stewie.

"Ok but you two better do as I say." Brian remarked as the trio snuck out the front door.

Back at Helen's Flat Stewie woke up in the box still irritated that the escape attempt hadn't worked, suddenly Stewie was blinded by daylight as Helen flung the door open.

"Ah good morning Helen." The young infant said in an overly cheerful voice. "I hope you had a nice night because I did."

Helen grabbed Stewie and held him up to her face by the straps of his overalls.

"Listen to me right now you little brat cause I'm only going to say this once." Helen snarled angrily. "You are really starting to get on my nerves I've tried to be nice and show you love and compassion but that dosn't seem to have registered in your tiny brain, so if you even try to escape again I'll spank you so hard you won't have half an arse left Kapeesh."

"Ohh I'm so scared." Stewie replied in a sarcastic voice. "I don't know what I'll do if the big ugly troll faced woman tries to catch me when I escape, and plus I'm never going to be your munchkin lady."

Helen walked away enfuriated as Stewie laughed loudly and blew raspberries and shaking his butt.

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah nah you can't come up with a good comeback." Stewie mocked in a sing song voice which made Dave laugh until he saw Helen giving him a death glare.

"And you can shut up as well." Helen retorted. "I'm getting so sick of that child, he's a little shit who won't sit still."

Dave gave Helen a dirty look which caused her to slap him round the face.

"Bitch that hurt." Dave cried out in pain.

"Good." Helen barked. "You deserve it for giving me the dirty look, NEVER EVER GIVE ME THE DIRTY LOOK."

"You know Helen the Police are still looking for the baby." Dave imformed.

"What let me see." Helen ordered as she snatched a copy of the Quahog Imforment from Dave and began to read.

 **GRIFFIN BABY STILL MISSING.**

"There is still no news on the whereabouts of Stewie Griffin who vanished last Saturday Afternoon at the Happy Go Lucky Toy Store at the Quahog Mall where he was last seen with his father Peter Griffin, Mr Griffin stated that they were in the Computer Game section when Stewie was abducted but Unfortunatly didn't see his son's abductor.

"I only turned my back on him for five minutes and when I turned around he was gone." Peter Griffin 40 says. "Whoever has him please show your face and give us our Son back you bastards."

Stewie Griffin is described as being a year old with a head that is shaped like an American Football, he was wearing a yellow shirt with red overalls the day he went missing, if you have any information on his whereabouts then please contact your local Police Station.

Helen threw the Newspaper to one side while laughing maniacally.

"Stupid fat idiot." Helen said in a triumphant voice. "If he thinks he's going to see his son again he's got another thing coming."

Dave who was changing Stewie's nappy rolled his eyes and wondered to himself where his life went so wrong.

"Helen people are looking for him, you'll end up getting caught one day." Dave explained. "Someone could've witnessed you taking him from the Mall, he's easily recgnisable with his head, and plus you've been seen on CCTV and publicly attacked that poor mum, and yes I know you went to the Vigil"

"I DON'T CARE." Helen screamed while stomping her feet like a spoiled child. "I'VE FINNALY GOT A SON OF MY OWN AND I WON'T GIVE HIM BACK, NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HIM EXCEPT ME."

"Oh and I geuss I don't matter in this." Dave retorted in a hurt voice. "For years I stayed with you because i wannted to help you to change you, but all you've given me is hate and abuse."

"Oh who needs you." Helen snapped. "I can cope just fine on my own, you on the other hand would still be the snivelling weasle I met years ago you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."

"Oh yeah." Dave replied with barley concealed venom. "Well you would still be a miserable old slob who only cares about herself and has a brain so tiny that she's Basicaly a Caveman."

"Oh who needs you." Helen repeated.

"And who needs you." Dave replied before he started singing.

(AN sing being parodied is Who Needs you from The Land Before Time 4 Journey through the Mists.)

Dave: I need you like a hole in the head

Dave quickly dodged a gunshot from Helen.

Helen: And I need you like a bug in the bed.

Helen screamed in terror as Sam crawled out from under her bed.

Dave: You constantly bite the hand that feeds you.

Helen and Dave: Who needs you not me.

Helen I need you like a pain in the gut.

Dave ran up to Helen and punched her in the stomach.

Dave:oh yeah And I need you like a kick up the butt.

Helen imediatly retorted by kicking Dave in the butt.

Dave:You truly disgrace the woman who gave birth to you.

Dave and Helen: Who needs you not me.

Helen: Who needs you, you walking talking insect, you can't stand up for yourself and your a four eyed freak with spots.

Dave: And who needs you, you ugly troll/Ogre/Human hybrid, your so fat that when you run your belly wiggles like jelly.

Helen: Oh I need you like a rock on my toes.

Dave slammed a stone on Helen's toe causing her to snarl in pain.

Dave: And I need you like a sock on the nose.

Helen then dropped a smelly sock on Dave's face.

Dave: I'm shocked and appalled by your behaviour.

Helen: Don't try being nice cause that won't save you.

Helen and Dave: I'm better off without you I can see.

So who needs you not me.

Dave: I need you like a cold in July.

Dave was shivering and sniffling.

Helen: And I need you like a punch in the eye.

Dave proceeded to punch Helen in the eye.

Dave: Of all the dumb beasts, not one proceeds you.

Helen and Dave: Who needs you not me.

Helen: I need you like I need a disease.

Helen scratched at a rash on her arm.

Dave: Oh yeah well I need you like the sun needs to freeze.

The sun suddenly froze covering Quahog in snow.

Dave: For quickness of mind a rock outspeeds you.

Dave threw a rock at Helen.

Helen and Dave: Who needs you not me.

Helen: Who needs you, you whimpy little man you can't count to ten and you're an absolute neat freak.

Dave: And who needs you, you stinking talking hog, you're bitter and you're mad cause your as ugly as your dad.

Helen: Oh I need you like I need more teeth.

A new tooth suddenly grew in Helen's mouth.

Dave: I lift a rock and find you underneath.

I'm deeply upset by your demeanour.

Helen: I know that I'm mean my dark demeanour.

Dave and Helen began circling each other.

Helen and Dave: No more an unlikely pair could ever be.

Dave: The word is incompatibility.

Helen: Not only that we don't get on you see.

Helen and Dave: So who needs you except the woman who gave birth to you.

Who needs you.

Dave and Helen began shoving each other while looking each other in the eye.

Helen: Not me.

Dave: Not me.

Helen: Not me.

Dave: Not me

Helen and Dave: Not meeeeeeee.

The crazed woman began throwing dishes at Dave just as Meg, Chris and Brian came through the Fire exit, they then peeked through the kitchen door and saw Stewie sitting on the table watching with amusement.

"Whoa crazy bitch alert." Stewie stated.

Helen heard this and screamed in fury, she then ran up to Stewie grabbed him by his wrist and spanked him so hard that Stewie felt the urge to cry.

"Oh my god Stewie." Meg cried out in horror as boiling hot anger filled her.

"You struck me." The young infant cried out in shock with tears welling up in his eyes.

Helen simply snarled before spanking him again.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW." Stewie wailed as he rubbed his bottom.

"What the hell does that woman think she's doing?" Brian cried out in an appalled voice as Meg sobbed into Chris's shirt.

"Helen why are you hitting him like that he hasn't done anything wrong?" Dave remarked in an absolutely disgusted voice.

"SHUT UP DAVE HE'S MY SON AND I'LL HIT HIM IF I WANT TO." Helen roared in fury.

"Wait she thinks Stewie's her son." Meg cried out in suprise. "But how can he be.

"This Helen woman obviously can't have children of her own." Brian explained. "So she resorted to abducting another child just to get what she wants.

"That's horrible." Meg answered. "And it's no wonder she's not allowed to have kids, she just abuses him and that's not the sign of a good mum."

"LOIS SAVE ME." Stewie wailed as he got hit again, this proved to much for the young infant as he began crying loudly.

"That is enough Helen." Dave barked as he pulled Stewie away and began hugging him while rubbing his back.

"Shhhhhhh, shhhhhh." Dave said in a soothing voice. "Don't worry Stewie you're safe now I'll make sure you get back to your real parents."

Stewie quickly calmed down and glared at Helen who had nothing but pure anger in hers.

"You've hurt him Helen, you've hurt him so bad." Dave warned.

"Prove it you bastard." Helen suggested in a low and dangerous voice.

"Look at him Helen." Dave demanded while pointing at Stewie who was shaking and crying. "He was just sitting there doing nothing and you just abused him for no reason, in fact you shouldn't even be abusing kids it's wrong and disgusting, in fact I hope the Police do come and save Stewie because you don't even deserve to have kids and you shouldn't be taking them either."

Helen just grabbed Stewie, opened the closet door and flung the poor infant inside.

"YOU BITCH, LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW." Stewie roared in fury." OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL YOU."

The crazed woman then went over to her beer cabinet and took out a bottom of vodka before gulping it down.

"Get the fudge out of my house Dave." Helen demanded in a slurred voice.

"But Helen I didn't do anything wrong." Dave replied in a nervous voice.

"I DON'T FREAKING CARE." Helen bellowed. "I'M NOT LETTING YOU TAKE MY SON AWAY FROM ME SO GET OUT."

Helen then began to throw objects at Dave as the poor man fled out the front door in tears.

"get out." Helen continued to yell." Get out, GET OUT, GET OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT."

Dave then flung himself out onto the pavement and groaned in pain as his glasses broke, the man then began to sob loudly at his pradicament, Helen was looking out the window and slowly slid down the wall while covering her face with her hands.

"Oh Dave please forgive me." Helen sobbed.

Stewie Meanwhile was rocking backwords and forwards with his legs up to his chin.

"I want to go home." Stewie cried. "I want Lois."

The young infant continued to say this over and over again as he sat in a now broken state.

( **AN Well that was definatly a tear jerking ending to a chapter poor little Stewie, in the original Helen said the F word but I changed it, So hope you enjoyed.**


	7. Time To Fly

**(AN Hello there TimeLordMaster108 here with a brand new chapter, this Chapter contains a very nice tribute to Adam West who sadly passed away last month we also have some more character development for Helen and Dave, so sit back and enjoy.**

 **Chapter 7 Time To Fly.**

Helen was slouched on the couch while still taking huge gulps from her bottle of Vodka and sobbing while hiccuping.

"Aww she seems really upset." Meg said. "Maybe I can try reasoning with her."

"Meg don't." Brian warned. "She's clearly very dangerous.

But Meg walked up to Helen anyway and stood next to her.

"You know you should give Stewie back now." Meg suggested in a calm voice while patting the crazed woman on the shoulder. "I'm sure his mummy misses him and is worried sick, and plus I could make sure you get proper help for your mental health issues."

"Who are you supposed to be my conscious?" Helen asked in a slurred voice." Well conscious it's not fair I didn't mean to cause all this mess, I just wannted a child of my own and saw him there being deliberately abandoned by his oaf of a dad I was saving him I don't want to give him back, who's to say that they won't dump him just like my parents did to me and my foster parents after, no one knows now anyway and Dave won't go to the Police because I'll hurt him real bad if he dares to."

"Oh I do not think it is to late to change, you still can." Meg stated in an impression of Ducky. "You can Yep, Yep Yep."

"Shut up Judy, or Ducky, or Thia, or Anne Marie." Helen remarked. "Whichever one you are."

"I DEMAND TO BE LET OUT, I WANT TO GET OUT." Stewie cried from the closet as he rattled the door handle.

Helen instantly sprang to her feet, grabbed the Vodka bottle and threw it against the closet door where it shattered.

"SHUT UP." Helen screamed. "STOP SHAKING ON THE GOD DAMN DOOR."

The crazed woman staggered back to her seat and vomited on Meg's shirt before falling unconscious and snoring like a pig, Meg, Chris and Brian then ran over to the closet and were careful not to sit on the glass.

"Psst Stewie it's us." Brian said in a hushed voice.

"Brian oh thank god." Stewie cried out in surprise. "Wait how long have you been standing there?"

"Oh Stewie we saw everything." Meg said in a hurt tone.

"You douch you just stood there while my butt was getting smacked." The talking infant cried out in anger.

"Yeah sorry Stewie." Brian replied as he opened the closet door and Stewie ran out and jumped into Meg's arms. "But we're here now and we're taking you home.

"Who the hell does she think she is man?" Stewie wondered aloud as he began to pace. "She's not my mummy and she has no right to yell at me, but I'm locked in this tiny space and psycho bitch won't let me out."

"She stopped me from contacting you Brian and telling you where I was." Stewie continued to rant. "And now as you saw she's thrown the PointDexter out and he was my only option left."

"Stewie you're overexagerating." Chris explained. "We can just escape right now."

"I bet Lois is worried sick about me." Stewie replied as he ignored Chris. "If the Fatman hadn't run off and left me like he did none of this wouldn't have happened."

"I know Peter's an idiot." Brian remarked as he tried to comfort Stewie. "And besides Chris we can't escape now or the Police will think we did it."

Meanwhile Dave was wondering around the streets thinking about what had just happened, he was finnaly begining to see that Helen was just a nasty old woman who cared for nobody but herself.

"If I don't do somthing fast the little guy might never see his real parents again." Dave cried out in a loud voice.

"What do you mean never see his real parents again." A voice with an African American accent asked.

Dave then turned around and saw Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Matt glaring at him with suspicious faces, this caused Dave to start shaking nervously.

"Ah um, well you see." Dave began in a quiet voice." I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHERE STEWIE GRIFFIN IS, I SWEAR TO GOD."

"Then that must mean you do know somthing." Peter replied while growling in anger. "Guys let's get him."

Dave turned on his heal and tried to run in the opposite direction but Peter was to quick for him and pinned the poor man to the floor, Matt then pinned him against the wall of the Drunken Clam.

"Alright Mr I have a very short temper when it comes to people hiding criminals so tell me what you know." Matt demanded in an angry voice. "Who took Stewie from the Toy Store last Saturday?"

"I can't tell you that." Dave replied in a comedicaly nervous voice." My Wife threatened to kill me if I told you she kidnapped Stewie OH CRAP."

Peter then marched up to Dave with a furious face.

"You'd better start talking now." Peter demanded. "Or we can march down to the Station right now and tell the Police the truth that you know somthing, but as an alternative I can take you to my house where you can tell my very distraught but also very angry wife what your wife has done to Stewie."

"So stop choking and start quacking." Matt snarled. "WHERE IS STEWIE?"

Dave instantly nodded and agreed to go with Matt to the Police Station, Dave then went up to the front desk where a bulky Police Officer was sitting doing some paperwork.

"Hello." The Officer said politely as he looked up from his papers. "What can I do for you?"

"It's about the missing baby Stewie Griffin." Dave stated.

"Yeah." The Officer asked in a hopeful voice. "What do you know?"

"I know who took him." Dave replied. "And more importantly I can take you to them."

"That's wonderful." The Officer cheered in triumph. "I thought we'd never find a good lead."

Back at the Fllat Helen was just waking up from her nap with a splitting headache when she swore she could here voices, the crazed woman turned around but could see nobody and the only sound was that of a ball hitting the closet door, she then slowly got up, marched to the Closet door and began banging on it.

"Will you stop throwing things against the wall." She barked.

"Why don't you go to hell." Stewie suggested. "I'm going for a world record here."

Suddenly Helen heard a loud banging on her front door.

"Helen Parks." Matt could be heard yelling through the door. "This is the Police we have you completley surrounded."

"Crap I knew I couldn't trust Dave to keep his mouth shut." Helen said.

Snarling Helen opened the closet door and grabbed Stewie by the wrist.

"God I wish you would stop doing that." Stewie barked. "You'll end up breaking my bloody wrist."

"Helen this has gone far enough." Dave called through the door. "Just give the kid up and come quietly."

"NEVER." Helen screamed as she moved away from the door while carrying Stewie. "HE'S MY SON AND YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME."

And with that Helen charged into her bedroom and ran down the Fire Exit.

" PUT ME DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD." Stewie cried out in horror as Meg, Chris and Brian tried to ambush Helen.

The crazed woman however kicked them all and soon ran to her car.

"Shut up you little brat." Helen snarled as she flung Stewie into the front seat and got into the drivers side. "You belong to me now."

Helen then drove off away from the Flat and was startled when she had to avoid the 60s Batmobile that sped towards her.

"Damn you, you fiend." Mayor West exclaimed as he popped out wearing a Batman costume. "You may have foiled the Police but I Batman will put an end to your wicked deeds."

"Um sir don't you think you're overblowing it." Mayor West's ward who was dressed like Robin.

"Nonsense." Adam replied. "Wherever their is danger I Batman will stop it."

"Atomic batteries to power." The assistant began. "Turbines to speed."

The flame on the back of the Batmobile lit up.

"Right ready to move out." Mayor West declared. "And discover who's been stealing my water."

The car then sped off into the sunset after Helen while the 60s Batman theme played in the background.

 **(AN Ohhh I do love a cliffhanger, remember to Read and Review and yes that's the last time you'll ever see Mayor West in one of my fanfics, nay Adam West rest in peace)**


	8. Time For Action

**Hello and welcome to the next Chapter of Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux) As usual I don't own Family Guy so enjoy, PS anyone else looking forward to Season 16.**

 **Chapter 8 Time For Action.**

The Police were growing impatient as Helen hadn't emerged after two minutes.

"Mrs Parks you have ten seconds to come out and hand the Child over." Matt yelled. "If you don't then we'll have to break the door down, I know you're the Child Snatcher and I know you killed Rosie."

"Ten, Nine, Eight." Matt continued. "Mrs Parks don't make this any harder on yourself, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three."

"This is your final warning." Dave stated in a sad voice.

"Three, Two One." Matt finished.

The Police waited but when Helen didn't emerge they kicked the door down and charged in with their rifles raised

"She isn't here." Dave cried out in alarm. "Where did she go?"

"Matt." One Officer called out from Helen's bedroom. "You'd better come and see this."

The Police went in and saw the window leading to the Fire Exit wide open.

"Looks like she made her escape down the Fire Exit." One Officer imformed before turning to Dave. "Do you have any idea where your wife will have gone?"

"I don't know." Dave answered in a solemn tone. "I'd have to think, oh this is all my fault I should've told you imediatly."

"Don't worry Dave." Matt said. "We know she might have taken the car."

"She did." Meg replied as she Chris and Brian limped up the Fire Exit.

"What the hell are you three doing here?" Matt yelled in horror. "Do you realise how dangerous this was."

"I know." Meg lamented. "But we just wannted to help."

"Well thank you but this is very dangerous. "Matt explained. "I'm going to have to phone Lois who's probably worried sick about you, as if she needs her other two kids going missing."

"Good idea." An Officer replied. "Call his parents, tell them we found his kidnapper, and you three go back to school."

Meg, Chris and Brian walked silently out of the flat.

"We are in so much trouble." Brian said. "I'm going to get put outside, but we must tell the truth."

Meg and Chris nodded as Brian started singing.

(AN Song being parodied is Big Mistake from The Land Before Time TV series.)

Brian: We made a big mistake.

Meg: It's more than an accident.

Brian: We've got to go.

Tell Peter and Lois what we found here.

Meg: Even though she'll be mad at us.

Chris: But we need to go and tell the truth right now.

Stewie needs us more than ever before.

Meg: Because that woman must be braught to justice for her crimes.

And if not for Dad we wouldn't be here right now.

Brian: So we must go tell Lois about this psycho."

The trio then walked towards Brian's car with their heads hung low.

"End of the road." Meg remarked in a downtrodden voice. "Nothing to do, and no sign of things getting better, sounds like Saturday night at home."

Back at the Griffins house Peter was sitting on the couch and casually playing Surfing On The Wii when suddenly the phone rang.

"Peter can you answer the phone?" Lois called from the Kitchen.

"Hang on I'm going for a high score here." Peter answered back in a cheerful voice as he started singing Wipeout.

Lois then walked through to the living room and picked the phone up.

"Hello." Lois said.

"Lois." Matt replied back in a slightly exasperated voice. "You're not going to believe what's been happening, we got a tip from a man named Dave Parks that told us that Stewie was being held in a block of Flats two miles away from the Toy Store."

"What." Lois cried out in shock. "So who took him?"

"A Fat crazy woman named Helen Parks." Matt answered. "We tried to get him back but she refused to hand him over and ran off."

"Oh my God!" Lois exclaimed in fear. "Where is she?"

"Um that's the problem." Matt replied in a nervous voice. "We don't know where they are, oh and also Brian led Meg and Chris to her Flat to try to save Stewie but even they failed."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Lois asked in annoyance. "Well hurry up and find them now, and tell Brian when he gets in he's in so much trouble and Meg and Chris are grounded."

Lois then hung up and slammed the phone down, she then walked up to Peter who was engrossed in his game.

"Peter that was the Police, they found out who took Stewie." Lois cried out in an excited voice.

Peter however continued to surf having not heard what Lois said, the redhead then sighed in annoyance before unplugging the game much to Peter's annoyance.

"Lois calm down it's only a Surfing Game." Peter stated in a confused tone.

"Peter didn't you here me, the Police have just found out who took our baby." Lois explained in an exasperated tone.

"Holy crap." Peter cried out finnaly getting it.

Later on in the afternoon Brian, Meg and Chris returned home and received a big telling off from Lois and after that they learned about Stewie.

"So it was a woman who took him?" Brian asked.

Lois simply nodded.

"But the Police have said that she's gone on the run and taken Stewie with her." Lois answered in a worried voice. "And now the Police are searching for her."

"Do you think they'll find them?" Meg asked in a concerned voice.

"I hope so." Lois replied in a furious manner. "Because when they do I'm going to kick that bitch's ass and make her pay for taking my baby away, ohhhh she'll rue the day she took Stewie from me Mark my words."

"But why did she take him anyway?" Chris asked sounding confused.

"I don't know honey." Lois answered. "I just don't know."

"But there must be a reason, people don't just take children for no reason." Brian imformed.

"Maybe she's a lady creep." Peter suggested.

Everyone just gave Peter a weirded out look.

"What?" He asked. "I was only stating my opinion."

"Well if the Police do find them then we'll be able to find out why this bitch took Stewie." Lois informed.

Meanwhile about three miles outside of Quahog Helen was hiding in a disused shed with Stewie, she was currently peering out the window for any sign of Police Cars.

"I bet they just went back to the Police Station to eat Donuts and drink Hot Chocolate." Helen thought to herself while chuckling. "Well if they have given up good."

Helen then turned to Stewie and picked him up.

"We're going away for a while." Helen said as Stewie tried to wriggle free. "The Police will be looking for us so we'll go home to Texas."

"What." Stewie gasped. "You're going to smuggle me out of Quahog Rhode Island, you bitch, you fat burger eating, booze drinking, drug dealing Texas bitch."

Helen just smiled Evily as she began to sing.

(AN Song being parodied is Be Prepared from The Lion King.)

Helen spoken: I never thought it would come to this, where I would be forced out of Quahog, it seems a while since I was home but I must have what I want and I will get away with it.

Helen then began to march outside with Stewie.

Helen: I know that your powers of perception are as wet as a warthog's backside.

But thick as you are pay attention, my words are a matter of pride.

As Helen said this she lightly slapped Stewie on the cheek before waving her hand up and down.

Helen: It's clear from your vacant expression.

That the lights are not all on upstairs.

But we're talking a new life in Texas.

Helen then leapt in front of Stewie causing him to jump up in fright

Helen:even you can't be caught unaware.

Helen then went outside with Stewie following.

Helen: So prepare for a chance of a lifetime, prepare for sensational news.

A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer.

Stewie: And where do I feature?

Helen grabbed Stewie by the straps of his Overalls

Helen: Just listen to Mummy.

I know it's unsorted but you'll be reward, when At Last I am given my dues.

And in justice deliciously squared.

Be Prepared.

Stewie: Yeah I'll be prepared... for what?

Helen Spoken: For your new life with me.

Stewie Spoken: Why is Lois dead.

Helen Spoken: No fool your mine forever and that's finale.

Stewie Spoken: Oh joy being a bossed about by a whale bitch.

Helen Spoken: Idiot I'm not fat.

Stewie Spoken: Yes you are.

Helen Spoken: Forget Lois, and Eventualy we'll return to Quahog when they've stopped looking and I can have what I want a Son of my own.

Stewie Spoken: You suck booooo.

Stewie: This woman is truley deluded, to think that she can be my Mummy.

Helen: Of course with pro quo your expected to take certain rules on board.

The future is littered with prizes, and though I love you dearly.

The Point that I must emphasise is.

Helen then got close up to Stewie.

Helen: YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME.

Helen marched up to her car and flung Stewie in before getting in the front.

Helen: So prepare for the change of a Centuary, be prepared for the brand new dawn.

Helen then drove off.

Helen: Maticulas planning, and Dave in the way.

Years of denial is simply why I'll.

Be your mummy forever, respected saluted.

And seen for the wonder I am.

Yes my teeth and ambitions are bared, Be Prepared.

Stewie: Yes you're truley a crazy old bitch.

Both: Be Prepared.

Helen: Hahahahahahahahaha.

Back at the Griffin's house Lois was sitting on the couch, even though she now knew who took Stewie she was worried this woman would hurt him, Brian then walked up to her and sat on the couch.

"You ok Lois?" He asked.

"I'm going to make that bitch pay." She seethed. "I'm going to make her pay."

Lois then got up and headed for the front door.

"Lois where are you going?" Brian asked in a concerned voice.

"I'm going to help the Police find my baby." Lois explained.

"But don't you think you should let the Police handle this." The talking dog suggested. "You could be dealing with a raging psycho bitch."

"I don't care." Lois snapped. "I just want Stewie back and i'm not going to sit around and wait, I want to be there when they do find them and put that evil child stealing bitch behind bars."

And with that Lois marched out the door, went into the car and drove off just as Peter walked down the stairs.

"Hay Brian where's Lois going?" Peter asked in a confused voice.

"She's gone to help the Police find the woman who took Stewie." Brian replied.

"Oh that's nice." Peter said before realising. "Whhhhhaaaaaaaattttttttttt."

"Look Peter I tried reasoning with her but she seemed determined." Brian replied.

"Wow what a brave Woman." Peter gasped.

Brian looked at Peter confused.

"Do you mean Lois because she could be dealing with a psycho?" Brian asked.

"No Brian I meant her on the TV." Peter answered while pointing.

On the TV a woman was standing up to a Mugger who had stolen an old lady's bag.

"She's really brave for standing up to that thug like that." Peter remarked.

Brian rolled his eyes as Peter walked through to the kitchen.

Lois arrived at the Police Station and walked inside to find everyone partying, swinging on chairs, drinking beer, and mucking about while making a mess doing the Konga and dancing on the desk in their pants except for Matt who gave a dissaproving look.

"Mrs Griffin what are you doing here?" The Chief asked in embaresment as he tried to put his clothes back on.

"Are you searching for the woman who took my baby?" Lois asked.

Everyone else nodded as they hurridly tried cleaning up in a panic.

"I want to help." Lois offered. "I want to help you find my baby."

(AN remember to read and review.


	9. Time To Search

**(AN Hello there TimeLordMaster108 and welcome to Chapter 9 of Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux), So before we begin I have some very exciting news, the third story of this prequal triology will be called Road To Revenge and will be a parody of the classic 1988 Don Bluth Film The Land Before Time however the story will be altered slightly to both fit in with the current storyline and the Family Guy universe, and as no supprise I still don't own Family Guy but if I did I'd do a differant version of Stewie Kills Lois and Lois Kills Stewie which are in my opinion hugely overrated episodes.**

 **Chapter 9 Time To Search.**

The entire staff of the Quahog Police department looked at Lois as though she'd just suggested her shoes tasted good.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" A Police Officer asked. "We could be dealing with a mad woman, actualy scratch that we are dealing with a mad woman so I just have to ask, ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"I don't care." Lois replied in an irritated voice. "I just want to get Stewie back and I want to be there when you find him, God I bet he's probably wanting me right now."

One Officer simply sighed and walked up to the redhead before putting his hands on her shoulders

"Mrs Griffin why don't you go home and leave this to professionals." The Officer suggested. "You don't know what you'll be getting yourself into."

"You didn't exactly look like you were being professionals dancing about like a bunch of idiots and looking as though you could care less about saving my little Stewie." Lois stated as she began to sob loudly.

Matt ran over to the grieving woman and hugged her while giving the others a Now Look what you've done face.

After a few minutes Lois calmed down and Dave walked up to her while shaking and grinning nervously

"Who the Hell are you?" Lois asked in an increasingly angry and impatient manner.

"I'm Dave Parks, my wife took your son." Dave replied in a high pitched nervous voice.

Dave imediatly gulped and began to whimper as the now furious redhead pinned him to the wall.

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?" Lois screamed at Dave. "YOUR BITCH OF A WIFE HAS MY BABY AND THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE, WERE YOU INVOLVED TOO HUH, WERE YOU THE GETAWAY DRIVER?"

"Calm down ma'am." Dave replied in a voice quivering with comedic fear. "I've been trying to get him back to you but my Wife kept stopping me, it was all her doing and it's her fault, plus she's a crazy bitch."

"It's all true." One Officer replied as he and the rest of the Police force hid behind Matt while shaking in fear. "He told us everything."

"His psycho wife has my baby and if we don't do somthing soon I might never see my baby again." Lois said to all of them.

"And I might never be able to avenge Rosie." Matt lamented. "We also found out that Helen Parks was indeed the Child Snatcher."

"We must get moving guys." Dave suggested. "Helen is mentally unstable and we need to find them as soon as possible."

Meanwhile Helen was driving down a country road in an attempt to keep her distance from the Police.

"You're going to love Texas." She was saying to a pouting Stewie. "I'll take you to meet your new Grandparents and we'll be staying with them for a while."

Helen just looked at Stewie and sighed.

"Ahh quit your sulking." The crazed woman demanded. "You've been sulking since we left that she'd, what's the matter?"

"Oh what's the matter you say?" Stewie asked in a sarcastic voice. "Well let me see, you kidnap me from a Toy Store, you lock me in your cupboard and now you're taking me away from my hometown and family, THAT'S WHAT'S THE MATTER."

"Don't shout you little runt." Helen snarled. "I don't want anyone to here us, got it."

"Whatever." The young infant retorted in boredom. "Why don't you just head back to Rhode Island and hand me over to the Police while you're at it."

Helen ignored Stewie as she continued to drive.

"Are you bloody deaf or just ignoring me?" Stewie demanded. "PAY ATTENTION TO ME BITCH."

Stewie then slapped Helen across the arm in anger, which only resulted in Helen slapping Stewie back.

"What have I told you about hitting." Helen snarled.

However before either could say anything else Stewie slapped her again followed by Helen doing the same before Stewie did it again, soon enough the two entered a massive slap fight.

"I don't know I wasn't really paying attention." Stewie remarked as he stuck his toung out with one eye closed and showing the middle finger. "I was busy plotting my escape, your just all mouth and no brain, ha, ha ha."

"Oh quit your babbling or I'll cut your toung out." Helen threatened with beardy concealed venom.

"You shall do no such thing." Stewie said horrified. "Or I shall kill you and dump your body in a rubbish skip and head back to Quahog myself."

"Just keep your mouth shut." The crazed woman ordered.

Helen drove the car into a nearby Petrol Station.

"I'm going to put more Petrol in the car." Helen explained as she shoved Stewie underneath the passenger seat. "So keep out of sight, I don't want no one seeing you."

"Well maybe I do." Stewie retaliated. "Then it would give me a better chance of getting back home."

Helen slammed the door shut and locked it before filling her car up with petrol.

"I'll need loads of this if I'm going to be on the road for a while." Helen mumbled to herself before completley filling the car and walking to the shop.

Stewie then climbed out of his hiding place and looked at the car door.

"Ah ha she's gone, now I can make my escape." Stewie declared.

The baby genius attempted to open the door but became frustrated when he found it was locked.

"Blast!" Stewie cursed in fury. "She's locked me in so I can't escape... or maybe I can escape, I'll just press this and climb out."

The young infant noticed the button for the car window and pressed it allowing the window to go down.

"Yes." Stewie cheered in triumph. "Victory is mine."

Stewie then climbed out of the window but while climbing up his shoes fell off, however Stewie decided to leave them as he ran down the road they'd come up. I

After a few minutes passed Helen walked out of the shop and back to her car, her eyes then widened in horror as she noticed the front passenger seat window was wide open, she then flung the door open and was shocked when she found no sign of her captive except for a pair of light grey shoes.

"NO." Helen roared in frustration as she kicked the car.

A couple looked over and gave Helen a weird look.

"Oh it's nothing." She lied. "My Coffe spilled all over my seat, that's all."

The couple walked away as they were intregued by a News Report that was being played at full volume so even Helen could here it.

"Welcome to Quahog Channel 5 News." Tom could be heard saying. "In breaking news Quahog Police have issued a Nationide Manhunt for local resident nutcase Helen Parks who is wannted back in Quahog for the abduction of one year old Stewie Griffin who was snatched from the Gaming section of the Happy Go Lucky Toy Store."

Helen now horrified and annoyed walked into the shop and saw the News report.

 **Cutaway To Tv**

"Police were tipped off about the identity of Stewie's abductor and whereabouts by her husband Dave Parks who states that his nutty wife wants to keep Stewie as her child." Tom continued. "And that she may be heading for Texas where she has family, Lois Griffin also gave an emotional appeal to Mrs Parks begging her to give Stewie back."

"Please Mrs Parks I can understand if you're lonely and just want to have a Son." Lois began in a distraught voice. "But what you're doing is wrong, if you have any soul in your heart you'll come back and give Stewie back, just think about how much his family love him and just want him back."

Lois broke down sobbing before it cut to Tom.

"Wannted Posters of the convicted Psychopath have been placed all over the City so if you see her or Stewie do not approach as she's considered armed and extreamly dangerous, and also report in if you see a red Ford Fiesta with the Number Plate, 5431666." Tom concluded as an image of Stewie and Helen appeared on screen.

"It was also discovered that Helen Parks is none other than the natorious Child Snatcher a mysterious criminal wannted for the abduction of hundreds of children and the murder of Rosie Murdock." Diane concluded.

 **End Cutaway**

"He couldn't have gotten far." Helen said aloud as she ran back to the car while dropping Stewie's shoes. "He's just a baby he can't walk very far."

The crazed woman then got in her car and drove away quite fast not realising that she'd been seen by everyone in the shop and CCTV behind her car.

Meanwhile Stewie was running down the country road and felt as though he was lost.

"Now where the Deuce do I go?" Stewie wondered as he stopped to catch his breath. "I need to find someone who can help me get back to Quahog and fast before..."

Stewie then heard a car coming and slowly turned around, his eyes then widened in horror.

"Before that fat cow tries to catch me." Stewie mumbled as he began to run sideways into a field which Unfortunatly caused him to loose his socks.

"Damn she must be following me." Stewie stated. "Maybe if I run she won't be able to catch me again."

Helen watched as Stewie ran through the field barefoot.

"Don't think you can get away." She declared in a hammy evil voice. "I will get you."

She then laughed in an overly hammy way while driving into the feild.

 **(AN well that was Chapter nine hope you all enjoyed and remember to Read and Review and Favourire if you really like this story, constructive criticism is welcome.**


	10. Stewie's Realisation

**(AN, Hello there TimeLordMaster108 here with another Chapter, so will Stewie be able to escape Helen's clutches hopfuly, anyway at the end of the chapter we're getting some character development for Stewie as he comes to a sudden realisation about... Well I can't tell you that as Professor River Song Would say. "Spoilers."**

 **Chapter 10 Stewie's Realisation**

Back at the house Peter, Meg, Chris and Brian had seen the News report and were now worried, with Peter pacing up and down.

"That woman could be armed." Peter stated. "She'll probably shoot Lois when she demands her to give Stewie back and then make off with him."

"That won't happen." Chris said in a dim witted voice. "Mum will kick that bitch's ass."

"You idiot they showed a picture of what that woman looks like on the News." Meg explained in a worried but teasing voice. "She looks a lot tougher than mum and looks like her evil identical twin."

"Chris is right Meg." Peter stated. "Now go to your room for pointing out false information."

"But dad." Meg cried out in a grim voice. "I'm being factual. "If that woman is as meanecing as she looks then she could tear poor mum to shreds and just make off with Stewie."

"No buts Meg." Peter replied. "Hop off to your room and I mean litaritly."

"What seriously." Meg whined. "There's no way I'm doing that you fat bastard."

"Don't swear at me young lady." Peter barked. "Come on Meg I'm waiting."

Peter then began tapping his foot impatiently, Meg moaned as she got up and hopped up the stairs like an Easter Bunny with Peter and Chris laughing, Meg then went into her bedroom and began pacing.

"I can't believe Dad's being naive." Meg lamented. "Mum's out there looking for Stewie and putting herself in danger, poor Stewie's out there Alone, cold, frightened and probably hungry and terrified, and dad dosn't seem to realise that this would never have happened if he had just been watching Stewie."

Meg then began to sing as she sat on the bed and sighed.

 **(AN Song being parodied is What To Do from The Land Before Time TV Series**

Meg: What To Do I wish I knew.

It's somthing I must think about.

Dad has really let Mum down this time, and won't even admit it's his fault.

And even I can't forgive him this time, for he not only let his wife down, he also let his kids down.

Put them in real danger and dosn't realise his stupidity.

What To Do.

"Well at least there's somthing I can do." Meg remarked as she took out her phone. "Time to check the News and see if there's any updates."

Stewie Meanwhile was running through a woodland with his hands in his pockets.

"This time I will get home." He said in a determined voice. "I wonder if Lois is worried, she probably will be I bet."

Suddenly a screech of tyres reached his ears, Stewie then sighed in annoyance as he saw Helen's car roll up nearby, it looked damaged with it's paintwork dented, scratched and mud covering it.

"Damn she must've followed me." Stewie seethed as he slowly backed away. "Well she's not getting me this time."

"I've got you now you little ratbag." Helen snarled while grinning evily.

"Oh I think not, I'm getting out of here." The talking infant cried out before bolting in the opposite direction leaving a dust cloud behind him.

Helen started waddling after him however she was thankfuly not able to keep up.

"Whoho look at that blubber fly." Stewie shouted out in delight. "She's like a flying Whale."

Helen roared in anger as she continued to chase Stewie, as they moved deeper into the woods both began to get scratched, stung and bruised by the branches, twigs, thorns, nettles and brambles, Stewie became horrified when he passed through a narrow tunnel of thorns and his Overalls were torn and shredded causing him to loose them in the thorns.

Helen watched as Stewie ran and came to the edge of the hill, The crazed woman's eyes widened in horror as Stewie rolled down the hill and dissapered.

"Where the hell is he." Helen wondered as she searched the nearby area.

Suddenly a loud ear peircing shreak reached her ears, the crazed woman rushed over to a nearby cliff and saw Stewie dangling from a twig over a large river of water.

"Oh my god my baby." Helen cried out in a terrified voice. "Don't worry Stewie Mummy's coming."

The now panicking woman knelt down and began to climb down the cliff, Helen holding on with one hand reached another hand down for Stewie.

"Stewie quick grab a hold of mummy's arm." Helen said in a desperate voice. "I'm going to pull you up."

"No just leave me hanging here so I can fall to my death." Stewie remarked with pure sarcasam. "What the bloody hell are you waiting for woman save me."

"I can't do anything unless you give me your hand Stewie." Helen cried out in fear with tears welling up in her eyes. "So please let me save you."

"I think i'd rather die." The infant shouted out in anger. "You're just doing this to not get caught."

Stewie then let go of the twig and plummeted into the water below and landed with a loud splash before disappearing.

"STEWIE." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Helen screamed in horror and despair.

Helen then roared in anger and charged about in a violent rampage tearing trees down attacking Squirles and rabbits, and even wrestling with a giant bear before throwing it off a cliff, the crazed woman then fell to her Knees and began to sob hysterically.

"Why." She wailed. "All I wannted was a baby to call my own and now he's dead, and I'll never be able to say how much I loved him."

Helen's ears pricked up when she heard a sound that she didn't want to here, Police Sirens.

"Oh crap." Helen swore. "Now I've got to get out of here without those idiots noticing me."

Helen then got up and began sneaking behind trees and large bushes, she then crept near the river and spotted somthing that made her heart race with excitement.

"Stewie." The crazed woman cried out as she ran towards the unconscious infant.

Helen gently lifted Stewie into her arms and watched as gallons of water poured out of his nappy causing them to deflate and make the same noise as a balloon, Helen then gently shook Stewie in an attempt to wake him.

"Stewie are you ok?" Helen asked in a genuinely concerned voice. "Oh please wake up and say somthing."

When the talking baby didn't respond Helen sighed in annoyance.

"Well I geuss I have no other options." Helen groaned in revolution at what she was about to do. "But this is my last chance, so I'll have to use the Kiss Of Life."

Helen then shivered at the thought as she pursed her lips up and leaned down towards Stewie's lips.

Fortunatly for both Stewie and Helen the act was unescasery as the young infant opened his eyes and screamed in horror as Helen's big, fat dry, ugly lips moved towards him.

"Oh thank god you're awake." Helen cried out in relief as she stopped what she was doing and began to sneak off with Stewie.

"Unhand me you vile woman, I almost succeeded." Stewie protested. "If you hadn't found me before the Police I would've been home and you would be where you belong, in the looney bin."

"Think you could get away could you." Helen sneered. "Well I'm gonna make sure you can never escape again you ungrateful brat I was actualy worried about you and yet you still don't accept me or appreciate the sacrifices I've made to give you a good life."

Helen stomped her way back to the now muddy, scratched and dented car and flung Stewie into the back.

"Now get on the floor and stay down." Helen demanded in a threatening tone.

"Make me." Stewie retorted while folding his arms with pure attitude and giving her a growling face.

Snarling like a wild beast Helen got in the back and shoved Stewie on to the floor before slamming the back door shut, Stewie then looked beside himself and gasped in horror, lying next to him was a huge pile of used Heroin needles.

"Eww there's needles everywhere." Stewie pointed out. "She must be a Drug Dealer, now I can see why the Social Services didn't let her adopt kids and she resorted to abduction, but why me?"

"Don't touch the needles." Helen growled as she started the engine up and accelerated out of the woods and pretty quickly on to the country road.

"As if I'd touch those vile things." The baby genius replied in a cocky voice. "And how dare you put an infant near some used Druggie needles, some of them could still be filled with Heroin, you most foul creature that ever walked the earth."

Helen looked up ahead and saw a blockade of Police Cars, she then swerved to the side and sped towards somewhere.

Stewie was startled as the floor began to vibrate and the car bumped over gravel and stones.

"Wait how can the car be bumping over anything unless." Stewie thought to himself.

The young infant poked his head up to the window and his eyes widened in horror as he saw the Car was speeding towards a cave wall on the highest point of a mountain, the car then crashed through the wall and entered a cave area.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND." Stewie screamed in hysterical horror as the car smashed through a wall and over the edge of the mountain. "HELENNNN I DON'T CLIMB, AND I CAN'T FALL ON MY FEET."

The car then crashed down on to the country road before rolling over several times and stopping the right way up, the car was a terrible mess, the windows were cracked, the doors were slightly hanging of their hinges, the paintwork was heavily dented and crackedthe boot and wing mirrors had fallen off and the bonnet was heavily dented and cracked, Helen then started the engine up and was glad to see that the car was still functioning.

"You've wrecked your own car." Stewie pointed out. "It's a bloody miracle we wern't killed and that you can still drive this thing.

"Shut up you stupid brat." Helen whined in annoyance. "This is all your fault, if you hadn't tried to escape my car would still be in working order."

"Yes well if you had any cells in your tiny pee shaped brain, you'd have given me back to my real mummy you overgrown baboon." Stewie yelled back.

"I am your real mummy now." Helen replied back. "I was the one who saved you from being abandoned by that stupid fat Griffin oaf and besides I've heard you talking about wanting to take over the world and kill someone called Lois, but let me tell you you're just a defenceless little baby who could never survive in the real world."

"And why do you want to take over the world anyway?" Helen asked.

"Because." Stewie began before stopping."Because... umm... ummm, you know somthing I really don't know."

Meanwhile back in Quahog Lois, Matt Dave and the Police were at the Flat looking for clues.

"What a dump." Lois pointed out. "I can't believe my baby was being kept here."

"Helen's pretty lazy when it comes to housework." Dave remarked. "I'm usually the one doing all the cleaning while she sits on her fat ass all day drinking beer and watching TV."

"Sounds like Peter." Lois replied.

"Is he your husband?" Dave asked.

Lois nodded and explained to Dave that Peter was very similar to Helen except for being insane, hurting people on purpose and kidnapping children from Toy Stores, several Police Officers walked through from Helen's bedroom carrying several bundles of baby clothes.

"Mr Parks why have several Officers walked through with baby clothes?" Matt asked with nearly concealed venom."

"What the hell is this?" Lois demanded in an impatient voice.

"Helen got me to buy some clothes for your son." Dave explained in a panicky voice.

"You mean she wannted to keep him?" Lois asked in a shocked voice as she looked at the huge amount of clothes on the armchair. "She wasn't going to give him back."

Dave put a reassuring arm on Lois's shoulder as the redhead let a few tears fall down.

"We need to get moving." Matt stated. "Helen could be halfway across the country by now, Mr Parks where is your wife origionaly from?"

"Southern Texas." Dave answered. "And she's not my wife anymore."

"What do you mean?" Lois questioned.

"I'm going to settle for a divorce. "Dave replied. "Because I don't want to be married to a woman who takes other people's kids to keep them as her own."

"Mrs Griffin it might interest you to know that Helen was recently sighted up at a Petrol station just a few miles outside of Quahog." One Officer stated. "Stewie was seen trying to escape from her and was reprted to have been recaptured in a woodland area, Mrs Park's car has been heavily damaged so the News is telling people to be on the lookout for a heavily damaged red Ford Fiesta."

Meanwhile Helen was still driving in her wreck of a car which was spluttering and letting steam pour out of the exhaust pipe, she then drove into a Caravan Park and parked in a empty parking space, Helen stopped the car and got out, she then put her trench coat on, placed a hat over her head so that her face wasn't showing before walking round to the back, she then opened the door which fell off and dragged Stewie out .

"Why the Deuce are we parked in a Trailer Park?" Stewie asked in an irritated voice.

"Shut it." Helen barked. "Because of your meddling escape attempts the Police might be close to catching me, so we're staying here for tonight, and I haven't had to wear this hat in ages not since I was the infamous Child Snatcher."

She then stuffed Stewie under her trench coat just like the day she snatched him.

"Oh not again." Stewie groaned in a muffled voice.

The crazed woman then went to sign herself in using an Alies before entering a nearby Caravan and putting Stewie on the floor.

"We'll be staying in this Caravan for tonight." Helen explained in a triumphant voice. "Now I need to buy some food, you wait here while I nip to the Food Store

"Excalent." Stewie declared. "With you gone I can make my escape and have you thrown in jail where you rightfully belong."

Unfortunatly for Stewie Helen dragged him through to a bedroom and flung him into a closet.

"You wait in here till I get back." Helen sneered before shutting the door.

"Ha I can still escape from this Closet because it has no lock on it." Stewie stated.

However Helen imediatly shoved the bed in front of the door making any escape impossible.

"Try escaping from that baby." Helen yelled in triumph.

The evil woman then laughed in an insane manner as she walked out of the Caravan turning all the lights out and locking the windows and doors.

"Damn." Stewie hollared as he stomped his foot, Stupid ass bitch."

The young infant then sat down and sighed as he realised somthing.

"She's right you know." Stewie lamented. "I truly have underestimated the world, it's big and dark and scary and I was wrong to ever have dreams of world domination and for wanting to kill Lois, well from this day forword I Stuart Gilligan Griffin vow to never think of world domination or murdering Lois ever again and to only use my gifts and talents for fun and to help if needed, and finnaly to show love and affection to my family."

 **(AN We'll that was Chapter 10 I hope you all enjoyed and yes the end of this Chapter signifies Stewie's change in character that he went through in Season 7 since I felt like giving That an explanation, Credit goes to the amazingly talented Narwhalpuppy for the idea of Helen going on a rampage after she thinks Stewie's been killed so give him a big hand and check his stuff out if you're intarested as he has written pleanty of great Futurama, Family Guy and American Dad fanfictions remember to Read and review.**


	11. Closing In

(AN **Hello TimeLordMaster108 here with a brand new chapter, this chapter reveals some intaresting twists and has some intaresting connections to Love Thy Trophy otherwise known as, THAT SERIOUSlY OVERATED PEACE OF CRAP EPISODE THAT DESERVES TO BURN IN HELL ALONG WITH MOST OF SEASON 2, cough, cough anyway I've calmed down now but yeah let's just say that a one off character from Love Thy Trophy is getting her comupance, anyway enjoy, oh and Warning this Chapter contains a disturbing nightmare sequance with one scene that may unintentionally offend some Fans who may also be fans of The Land Before Time And All Dogs Go To Heaven**

Stewie was still trapped in the Closet after five hours mainly because his captor hadn't returned yet.

"How long does it take to get some food?" Stewie remarked. "Seriously it shouldn't take five bloody hours to buy food, I really need to pee, maybe I'll go in here and she'll have to sleep in a room that smells like Urine, Ha."

Meanwhile Helen was staggering back to the Caravan completley drunk while also carrying bags of food, an employee then walked up to her with a piece of paper.

"What do you want?" Helen asked in a slurred voice.

"We want to know if you've seen this boy?" The woman asked as she handed the crazed woman the paper.

Helen squinted her eyes and saw that it was a Missing Child Poster featuring a picture of Stewie.

"No I ain't seen him." Helen lied. "It's not like I abducted him or have him in my Caravan, now get out of my face before I introduce my fist to your face."

"Ok thank you very much." The woman replied as she walked away with a suspicious face.

Helen ripped the poster into peaces and wobbled towards her Caravan and unlocked the door, she then vomited as the smell of urine reached her.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Helen yelled in confusion.

The drunken woman staggered through to the bedroom pushed the bed away from the Closet door and opened it, her eyes widened in horror as she saw Stewie doing his buisness with a cocky grin.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Helen shrieked.

"I'm a baby." Stewie replied with pure cockiness. "I can't control my bladder because I'm not Potty trained yet."

Helen pulled Stewie up by the scruff of the neck and put him on the bed, she then changed his Nappy and cleaned him up before putting the fresh one on and after this spanked him.

"You do not piss on the carpet." She seethed. "Bad baby bad, you're going straight to bed for a time out young man until you can learn to behave."

The nutcase then threw Stewie into the bedroom next to hers and shoved a chair against the door.

"Now go to sleep." Helen slurred. "I don't want to here a peep out of you till morning."

Helen then locked the door and switched off the lights and slumped onto her own bed before instantly falling asleep without changing her clothes.

The young infant closed his eyes and imediatly fell asleep, Stewie suddenly started shifting uncomfortably and then it started to rain from the celling, the genius baby awoke with a fright as he saw the room flooding with a huge volume of water which threw Stewie outside and onto a small life raft which was being hurled about in the stormy sea.

"What the deuce!" Stewie exclaimed in horror.

Stewie looked around and could see nothing but pitch black sky and inky black water which was occasionally lit up by bolts of lightning, suddenly a huge crocodile that had Helen's hair came out of the water and charged towards Stewie, the young infant paddled away as fast as he could as the croc nearly snapped him up.

Suddenly a giant wave rose up and engulfed Stewie sending him under.

"Help, somebody please." The young infant cried out in a terrified voice.

The talking baby's eyes widened in horror as the water turned bright pink and bright pink sea foam formed around Stewie, it then rose up out of the water to form a giant pink octopus that was wearing Meg's hat and glasses and was holding Stewie tightly in one of its tentacles.

The young infant tried to break free but it was no use, the giant sea creature continued to swim over to a dock area and dived onto it transforming back into sea foam and hurtling Stewie into the town, the young infant looked around and saw that he was in a post apocalyptic looking Quahog complete with zombified versions of various residents wandering around.

The young baby's ears perked up as he heard loud footfalls, Stewie turned around and his eyes widened in horror as Sharptooth charged towards him, the baby genius ran as fast as his feet would carry him, suddenly a human hand pulled Stewie into the Mall.

The young infant turned around and found himself face to face with Ducky and Anne Marie.

"Ducky from The Land Before Time and Anne Marie from All Dogs Go To Heaven." Stewie cried out in delight. "Oh my god I love the films your in, can I have your autograph."

"B-b-be quiet weird looking human." Ducky whimpered in a shaky voice. "Y-y-you might get h-his attention."

Stewie suddenly noticed that the pair looked incredibly frightened, and there were cuts and bruises covering their entire bodies, Anne Marie's hair looked very messy and she was sporting a black eye and a broken nose.

Suddenly a giant Sarauphalis that looked like Ducky's dad but had Carface's face crashed through the wall and loomed over the pair, the young infant ran away just as the monster bent his head back and breathed a jet of white hot fire.

Stewie ran into the Toy Store as he heard Ducky and Anne Marie's screams, Stewie wandered about the Toy Store and was horrofied when a large Pac-Man machine with a demonic electrical face stomped after him, Stewie attempted to get away but was imediatly swallowed by the creature and found himself in the Pac-Man maze with a demonic version of the theme tune playing

The young infant was then startled when a demonic looking Pac-Man started chasing him and gobbled him up, he then fell down through a black void and found himself running through a dark forest with large trees that had demonic red eyes, suddenly a large wolf that resembled Brian started chasing him.

Stewie then ran into a dead looking corn field and saw a Scarecrow poll with a Scarecrow behind it, Stewie breathed a sigh of relief and hoped it was either The Scarecrow from The Wizard Of Oz or Worzel Gummidge, or Spud.

"Oh thank god, help me Scarecrow or Worzel or Spud." Stewie cried out.

Suddenly the Scarecrow turned around and revealed himself to be Dafthead with blood red eyes and blood dripping from his mouth.

"Oh no I won't." Dafthead said in a slow demonic voice while holding up Worzel's head which was dripping with blood.

Stewie ran into a nearby cave and found two large green skinned trolls sitting on the floor, one of the creatures had Peter's hair and glasses and the other had Chris's hair and hat, one Troll raised his club and banged it against the wall causing hundreds of Bats with Quagmire's head to fly out.

"Greegity, Greegity." The bats cried out as they began to suck the blood from the pair.

The trolls laughed hysterically as they turned red and dissolved into pools of blood with a loud popping sound, one of the clubs fell onto Stewie causing him to multiply into tiny clones, Stewie then ran out of the cave in terror as he To was chased by the bats who came together to form a giant vulture who devoured all the Stewie clones in one foul swoop.

The real Stewie grew back to normal size but didn't see the cliff in front of him, The young infant once again fell through a black void and fell face first into his cot.

Stewie looked around and was releived to find himself back in his own bedroom.

"Oh thank god it was all just a horrible nightmare." Stewie sighed in relief. "I wasn't abducted by a crazy Fat Woman who wannted to keep me as her child."

Lois then walked in and picked Stewie up, she then cuddled him and sat in the rocking chair with him.

"Aww did you have a bad dream Sweetie?" Lois asked in a soothing voice. "Don't worry mummy will get you back to sleep with a nice lullaby."

The redhead began to rock Stewie back and forth while singing rock a bye baby, however Stewie began to think that somthing was wrong, What Lois had just said seemed too Brady Bunch like for her, Stewie also noticed that Rupert was missing and that Lois's voice was getting much slower and sinister.

"Oh god I'm still having that nightmare aren't I." Stewie cried out in horror.

Suddenly Lois transformed into a hideous hag version of her former self and laughed like a wicked Witch, The young infant found himself hanging over a cauldron with a raging fire and billowing smoke coming from it, the cauldron also had a Jack O Lantern face.

The baby genius noticed that he was surrounded by demonic looking versions of his stuffed animals as well as Zombified versions of all of Quahog's residents.

"So we gonna cook this little brat." The cauldron said in Helen's voice.

"Why would you do this?" Stewie asked in a terrified voice.

"Because you belong with Helen. "The hag version of Lois stated. "I never loved you, you were always trying to kill me so bye bye."

Everyone then laughed as the rope was cut and Stewie was sent plummeting into the fire below.

The young infant bolted upwards and gasped in terror, Stewie looked around and groaned as he found himself in the Caravan spare room, he then ran over to a box full of toys and threw out several objects including a Dalek, a Klingon, a Dementor and a Milenium Falcon, the baby genius finnaly pulled out the Tenth Doctor's second Sonic Screwdriver and aimed it at the door.

Stewie then activated the device and the Sonic made it's signature buzzing noise while the end lit up with a blue light, however nothing happened and the door remained locked.

"Damnit." Stewie cursed. "This thing really has no effect on wood."

Meanwhile Lois along with the Police and Dave had returned to the Griffins house to rest up for the night before continuing their search in the morning, Lois was soon shocked to learn that Dave and Peter knew each other.

"I can't beleave your husband is this fat, blundering, slob oaf." Dave cried out in horror as he pointed at Peter.

"Hay don't call my husband fat." Lois cried out in annoyance. "Besides how do you know him anyway?"

"Well when I was younger I dated this nice young woman named Sandra, but then when we were out on a nice meal, some big fat idiot with glasses and a giant Chicken flew through the window and crushed her."

"Peter." Lois snapped. "How could you do somthing so stupid?"

"I don't know Lois I just don't think somtimes." Peter replied in a dumbfounded voice.

"Ok let's forget about that for now." Lois cried out in a panicky voice. "We need to go to Texas now, my baby could be in danger if he's been taken by a psycho."

"Calm down." Dave reassured. "We'll catch Helen and get your son back I promise, the Police have agreed that they'll help catch Helen too."

"We need to stop her before she gets to Texas." An Officer imformed.

"But what if it's to late?" Lois asked in a mortified tone. "What if she's already up there with him."

"Then we'll go to Texas, find her, arrest her and give you your son back." Another Officer declared. "Don't worry Mrs Griffin we'll get your son back we promise."

Later on the Police left and Dave was given the spare room.

The next morning Stewie was sat on Helen's lap as she was trying to feed him cold spinach which he resisted.

"Come on." Helen demanded. "Open your mouth and eat the spinach you rotten little shitbag."

"How about you eat it instead." Stewie suggested.

The talking baby then threw the Spinach in the crazed woman's face causing the contents to slide down her ugly face, Helen growled furiously as she breathed heavily for a minute before unleashing a loud and furious roar

"You are a very naughty boy." Helen snarled. "Maybe I'll tie you in a sack and dump you in a river."

"But then I'd drown and you wouldn't have what you wannted you stupid, ugly, stinking, Worzel Gummidge dress sensed bitch." Stewie retorted before sticking his toung. "Ohh I'm so scared, I'd love to see you try."

"I mean it you stupid baby." Helen Hollared. "You used to be such a nice boy Oscar but ever since you're Death was faked those evil Griffins have corrupted you and tried to keep you as their own because that stupid redhead was so desperate to have kids that she abducted you."

"Oh great now you've totally lost it." Stewie stated while facepalming. "Let me geuss I look a bit like your son so you've gone to the bullcrap conclusion that I'm your son and that Lois faked his death, get over yourself lady."

Helen picked up the remaining Spinach and tried to feed it to Stewie.

"EAT THE GODAMN SPINACH." She roared when Stewie refused to eat.

"Whoa you have the loudest voice in America, my ears are ringing." Stewie replied sarcastically. "You need to learn some manners you big stupid Smeghead."

Helen growled aggressively, grabbed the young infant by the arm and spanked Stewie again.

"That's for wasting your Spinach you Twonk." She replied.

"Well I didn't ask for it anyway." Stewie retorted. "You just got it out of the Pantry and tried to force feed me it."

Unbeknows to either of them a couple that was walking by had heard that camotion and were peering through the window shocked at Helen's behaviour.

"That woman needs to learn how to control her temper." The man said. "That's no way to treat a child, but you know that kid looks kind of familiar."

The woman nodded in agreement, when they got a full view of Stewie they gasped in horror.

"Good grief." The woman cried out "it's Stewie Griffin."

The couple then ran off to report their findings.

Meanwhile back at the house Lois was sitting on the couch and talking to Dave.

"Why did your wife take Stewie?" Lois asked in a hurt voice. "Why my baby?"

"She was planning to snatch a Child for months." Dave explained. "I tried talking her out of it, telling her it was against the law to take someone else's kid but she wouldn't listen, she can't even look after a kid properly even if she adopted one."

"What has she been doing to my baby?" Lois demanded. "Has she been hurting him?"

"Well she locked him in the closet several times and hit him." Dave explained in a nervous voice. "Seriously Helen dosn't deserve to have children and she shouldn't be going around and taking other people's kids."

"I am going to kill that bitch." Lois seethed. "Tell me has she- has she touched him in any way?"

"Well yeah." Dave replied in an oblivious voice.

Lois screamed in rage and pinned Dave to the wall.

"YOUR WIFE'S SICK IN THE HEAD I'M GOING TO TEAR HER LIMB FROM LIMB." Lois shrieked as she began sobbing.

"What no not in that way." Dave cried out. "I thought you just meant touching in general like grabbing."

"Why the hell would you think I meant that." Lois growled in anger. "I meant the sick disgusting kind that only a depraved low life would dare do."

"Oh god no." Dave replied in horror. "Helen maybe many things but she would never resort to that kind of filth."

Suddenly a Police Officer walked in and was dragging a familiar looking woman along by the arm.

"Mrs Griffin we found this woman skulking around outside and saying that she needed to speak with you." The Officer stated.

Lois was shocked to see that the woman was Sandy Belford the Child Service Woman who took Stewie away from her and acted like a complete jerk.

"You." Lois cried out in disgust. "What do you want?"

Mrs Griffin you do me a disservice I want to help you." Sandy remarked. "I have information about where Stewie is."

Lois imediatly grabbed Sandy be her shirt collar and pinned her to the wall.

"Alright you have fifteen seconds start talking or I'll knock the living daylights out of you." Lois threatened.

"Ok, ok." Sandy began in a nervous voice before gulping. "I'm not really a member of Child Services I faked being a member just so I could get Stewie."

"Why?" Lois demanded in a dangerous manner as she swung a Frying Pan at Sandy's face.

"Because I was friends with Helen." Sandy explained. "She was convinced that your son was her dead son Oscar and that you abducted him just to keep as your own, Oscar died in a car accident that was caused by your husband drink driving."

Lois gasped in Horror remembering that event all to well, the car the couple had driven was sent into a nearby river and their baby was carried out to sea, Lois had been a few days away from giving birth to Stewie but she had never thought that Helen and Dave had been the same couple, she then looked at Dave with sympathy

"Poor Dave was heavily injured in his nether regions." Sandy continued. "Which caused him to be infertile, after that Helen lost it and started putting on loads of weight, she and Dave lost their jobs and ended up living in a tiny flat, and then Helen got me to pose as a Child Service agent and get two of my friends to disquise themselves as Police Officers."

"And I'll take it those Foster Parents were friends of yours to." Lois stated as she once again swung her Frying Pan. "We knew that they'd already abducted a bunch of kids by planting drugs in their homes, and we're going to assume that Helen was going to pick Stewie up thenext day."

"Oh god that hurt." Sandy groaned as she rubbed her face. "But yeah you're right."

"It's a good thing we got Stewie back then." Meg growled with bearly concealed venom. "Using Stewie like that was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made and now I feel more awful knowing I nearly led him into a death trap."

Meg took the Frying Pan from Lois and struck Sandy with it.

"That's for calling mum a horrible parent." Meg snarled as she struck again. "That's for emotionally abusing Stewie, and this is for setting two random men on Mum who could've done god knows what to her."

After Meg swung one more time a Police Officer ran through.

"Mrs Griffin we've just recieved a call from a Trailer Park three miles outside of town." The Officer stated in an excited voice. "Apparently Helen's been sighted staying in one of the Trailers with your Son."

 **(AN We'll that was Chapter 11, The idea of the Foster Parents deliberately kidnapping those kids comes from NarwhalPuppy so big round of applause for that spectacular idea, and even though I've got the climax planned out if you have any ideas for things that should be in the Climax don't be afraid to suggest, also I deeply apologise if the scene in the Nightmare with Ducky and Anne Marie offended anyone I wasn't trying to offend anyone or make a sick joke abou well you know, but I apologise for anyone offended regardless. and remember to Read and Review**


	12. Saving Stewie

**(AN Hello there TimeLordMaster108 here and welcome to the first To last chapter of the first prequal story, The Police are on their way to arrest Helen and rescue Stewie, but like in the first prequal story it might turn out to be harder than they thought so enjoy.)**

 **Chapter 12 Saving Stewie.**

"What are we waiting for?" Lois cried out in delight and triumph. "We need to get to that Trailer Park now."

"Calm down Mrs Griffin." One Officer stated as the rest prepared to leave. "We'll go there straight away, she could be gone by the time we get there, oh and before you ask no you can't come."

Lois just stared at them flabbergasted.

"Why not?" Lois asked in horror.

"Because it could be very dangerous." The Officer explained. "Your a Housewife and they can't defend themselves, and besides it would be a great surprise if we came to your house with Stewie."

"W-WHAT." The redhead spluttered in fury."

"Look Lois I hate to agree with him but this part of the job is extremely dangerous." Matt stated in an attempt to ease the tension. "I've already lost my wife and Rosie because of that nut job and I'm not about to loose Stewie or you."

"But you've never even met Stewie." Lois remarked. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I've known you long enough to know that you care about Stewie very much." Matt explained. "And I do to."

"Yeah so why don't you go and make us all a nice cup of Tea before we leave." Another Officer suggested.

"That does it." Lois snarled in anger as she slowly marched towards the Officer.

"Of all the mean and nasty, low life SEXSIT IDIOTS." Lois yelled in anger.

"And you Mrs Griffin, your toung is as sharp as your nails." The Officer retorted. "And your heart's twice as hard."

"Sneaky." Lois barked.

"Stubborn." The Officer barked back.

"Liar." Lois snarled.

"Loud mouth." The Officer barked back.

"You have to let me come with you." Lois stated as she was quickly loosing patience.

"Why should I?" The Officer asked as Lois growled furiously while advancing on him.

"Because if I don't come with you." Lois began as she reached her boiling point. "STEWIE'S GOING TO BE UPSET BECAUSE HIS MUMMY'S NOT THERE TO COMFORT HIM."

"Ah good point." The Officer replied in a nervous tone. "He probably really misses you and just wants you to hug him, and plus how heartless would you have to be to hold off the reunion between mother and child."

"Yes your perfectly right." Matt groaned while rolling his eyes.

"Hay what about me." Sandy cried out in annoyance.

"Oh yeah um Peter put her in the basement." Matt suggested.

"Right put her in the basement." Peter replied as he grabbed the woman and led her to the basement door. "Right in you get."

The obese man then opened the door and shoved Sandy in, he then slammed the door shut and laughed to himself.

Later on over at the Trailer Park Stewie was in the bathroom pouring the remaining tins of Spinich down the toilet.

"Ha now let's see you try and feed me that stuff you fat bitch." Stewie remarked in delight as he threw the last tin out the window.

The young infant's ears suddenly pricked up as he heard a News report coming from a nearby radio, the talking baby jumped onto the windowsill to have a better listen.

"And in breaking news Police have managed to track the location of wannted criminal Helen Parks to a Trailer Park three miles outside of Quahog where she is currently holding one year old Stewie Griffin as her prisoner." The News reporter imformed. "Police are currently on their way to arrest Mrs Parks and hand Stewie back to his real parents."

"Yes victory is mine." Stewie cheered in triumph while pumping his fist. "Now all I have to do is make sure to stall Miss Piggy just long enough for the Police to rescue me and arrest her."

Stewie then proceeded to throw all the remaining cans in the Toilet before pulling the handle and flushing it, this caused the water to turn green and mud like before it flooded the bathroom.

"Oh Helen come look at what I did." Stewie called out in a sinister voice as he leapt up onto the shelf..

The obese woman groaned as she got off the couch and stomped through to the bathroom, her eyes then widened in horror before she let out a horrified scream.

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU HORIBLE BASTARD?" Helen screamed.

"Well I just redecorated the bathroom for you." Stewie retorted as he spilled bottles of shampoo causing the room to be filled with bubbles. "Here you have some."

The baby genius then sprayed some deodorant in the crazed woman's eyes before jumping on her head and running out the door, the evil woman tried to chase after him but instead slipped and crashed into the shelf which wobbled and fell right on top of her.

The young baby then slammed the door shut before shoving a chair right in front of it and pilling several objects on top, he then spied Helen's shotgun lying on the counter.

"Ah now I'll just get rid of her gun so she can't shoot anybody." Stewie stated.

The young infant then picked the shotgun up and activated the garbidge disposil unit, he then threw the weapon in where it was slowly mangled and destroyed, this also caused the gun to accidentally activate and shoot bulets wildly in every direction, causing massive damage to the Trailer.

"MY BEUTIFUL GUN." Helen roared from within the bathroom. "HOW COULD YOU."

Helen then smashed her fist through the door and then repeated this action several times before breaking through the door and leaving a Helen shaped hole in it.

"You stupid, idiotic horrid little boy." Helen began in a dangerous tone. "I just don't get why you don't love me, I give you all that you could ever want and yet you have the utter nerve to defy me, insult me and try to escape to those nasty Griffins, well let me tell you somthing Stuart Gillian Griffin I've had it up to here with you, so just so you don't tell anyone I'm going to silence you permanently."

Helen suddenly pulled out a kitchen knife while wearing a twisted smile, she then slowly approached Stewie who slowly backed away with a look of pure fear in his eyes.

"Y-you wouldn't dare." Stewie cried out in fear as he leapt onto the counter. "You'll never get away with this."

The young infant then grabbed a larger kitchen knife and just as the crazed woman was prepared to strike Stewie blocked her, the two then entered a sword fight, the pair continued to duel blocking and countering each one never giving in.

Stewie then managed to surprise Helen by striking the hilt of her knife which caused the weapon to fly out of her hands and out the window, while the other knife flew out of Stewie's hand and narrowly avoided stabbing Helen in the foot.

Meanwhile several Police cars arrived at the Trailer Park, Lois, Dave and Matt got out of a car.

"Now according to the source Helen should be in that Trailer to the far right." An Officer explained.

The group then ran over to the Caravan and ducked underneath the window, Lois, Dave and Matt then peered into the window and saw Helen sitting on the couch while Stewie was trapped in an upturned washing basket.

"Oh my God Stewie." Lois cried out in delight. "Dave you go and rescue him."

"Why do I have to rescue him." Dave whined.

"Because when we come in you can calm Helen down and convince her that you still love her and want to be with her." Matt explained. "Now get out there and proove that you can stand up for yourself."

Dave just nodded in agreement while gulping, he then walked up to the front door and knocked on it.

Helen stood up and groaned in annoyance, she then went to open the door and was shocked to find Dave standing there.

"Dave." Helen cried out in a surprised voice. "What the hell do you want, I told you I don't want you near me."

Helen then threw the bumbling man into the Caravan before slamming the door shut

"Look Helen I'm sorry ok." Dave replied in a sincere voice. "I didn't mean to tell the Police about Oscar, I know you love him but he's not Oscar he's Stewie Oscar died and you have to learn to accept that."

"I refuse to believe you." Helen grunted. "I'm still a good Mummy to Oscar, I can count, and I can sing, ohhhh Old McDonald is a farm, come into the garden MUUUUUUMM."

Suddenly Stewie got out from under the basket and put his hands behind his back.

"Don't put your hands behind your back it irritates me." Helen snapped.

"Oh would you rather I had them stuck to my sides." Stewie retorted.

However Before Helen could retort, there came a loud harsh banging on the front door.

"HELEN PARKS THIS IS THE POLICE." Matt could be heard yelling. "OPEN UP THIS INSTANT."

"Ha victory." Stewie cheered in triumph. "The Police have come to rescue me."

LIAR." Helen screamed at Dave. "YOU JUST WANT TO TAKE STEWIE AWAY FROM ME, WELL I WON'T LET YOU."

The crazed woman then punched Dave in the face several times before hoisting him up by the scruff of his neck and throwing him through the window.

"Go away." Helen cried out in a hurt voice. "Leave me and my son alone."

"For the last time I'm not your blasted son." Stewie cried out in terror as Helen grabbed him by the waist and ran out the back door.

Meanwhile the Police were standing outside with Lois, Matt and a dazed and confused Dave.

"Come on Mrs Parks don't make this any harder on yourself." One Officer calmly stated.

Lois then thought she could here footsteps, the redhead turned around and gasped while pointing.

"There she is." Lois cried out in anger and fear. "And she's got my baby."

The Police turned around to see Helen running towards her ruined car with Stewie clinging to her hip while wearing a face filled with pure terror.

"Oh no you don't." Lois yelled out in fury as she charged straight at Helen. "Give me my baby back."

Lois then grabbed Stewie off of Helen which caused the obese woman to grab Stewie by the arm, Lois then held onto Stewie by the arm and the pair entered a tug of war.

"Oh Lois thank God." Stewie cried out in relief. "Now would you BOTH STOP TRYING TO RIP MY BLOODY ARMS OFF."

Helen then kicked Lois in the stomach and ran to what was left of her car, she then flung Stewie into the backseat and quickly got into the back seat before speeding off down the motorway.

"Come on guys let's catch that woman." One Officer yelled out in determination.

Every Officer then got into their cars and drove after Helen with their sirens blaring.

Meanwhile Helen was driving along with her fingers glued to the steering wheel while growling like an aggressive animal.

"They can't take him away from me." Helen seethed. "He's my Son."

Stewie was currently looking out at the moterway.

"Will you get down." The crazed woman yelled.

"Shut up bitch." The young infant retorted.

The baby genius grew a massive grin on his face as a horde of Police Cars approached them.

"Hay, hay hay, looks like I'm in luck." Stewie cheered in a cocky manner.

Helen groaned as she peered out the rear view window and saw a Dozen Police Cars right behind her.

"Oh Shit." The crazed woman cursed as she pushed her foot down on the accelerater and sped off down the Moterway.

"Get ready for some shocking fire power." Helen declared.

The speed Helen was going at caused the whole rear of the car to fall out and skid towards the cars which avoided it.

"Ha your aim stinks worse than your alcahal breath." Lois retorted.

The celling of the car was the next thing to fall off.

"Getting colder." Lois mocked.

 **(AN Song being parodied is The Miser Brothers Song from The Year Without A Santa Clause Live Action version.)**

Helen: I'm Mrs Mean lady, I'm Mrs Psycho

I'm Mrs Abusive wife I'm Mrs Big Fat Lady

They call me Helen, And I don't care what it takes

I'll keep my Child with me.

I don't care how.

Suddenly two other doors flew off and nearly hit the Police Cars but they were avoided.

Lois: I'm Mrs Nice Lady, I'm Mrs sane

I'm Mrs loving Wife, I'm Mrs caring mum

Friends call me Lois and I'll always be there

To protect my family from harm

I'm to much.

Police Officers: She's Mrs Nice lady, She's Mrs Sane.

She's Mrs Loving Wife, she's Mrs carrying mum.

Lois: Friends call me Lois, and I'll always be there.

To protect my kids from harm.

Police Officers: She's to much

Helen then began chucking items at the cars, while Lois did the same thing.

Helen: I never want to see the day where my child is taken from me.

Lois: I'd rather have him back with me Safe where he belongs.

Stewie who was clinging onto the front seat finnaly managed to leap into it, he then began slapping Helen across the face.

"Oww what the bloody hell are you doing stop slapping me." Helen wailed.

"Ha don't like it when others are hitting you." Stewie declared in triumph. "do you bitch."

Lois: I never wannted to see the day where Stewie was in danger.

Helen: I'd rather have him with me because he's mine and mine alone.

Suddenly one of the wheels on the car rolled off.

Helen: She's Mrs Mean Lady, she's Mrs Psycho

She's Mrs Abusive wife, she's Mrs Big Fat Lady.

Helen: They call me Helen and I don't care what it takes.

I'll keep my child with me.

I don't care how.

Lois: To much.

Helen then once again accelerated swerving to the side and up a hill.

Helen: Grrr I don't care how.

"THEY GOT AWAY." Lois screamed in horror. "THEY GOT AWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAYY."

Meanwhile back at the Griffins house Peter was playing on Chris's Game Boy and hadn't noticed that Lois had left, suddenly Peter's phone beeped.

"Dad you've got a message." Meg pointed out.

"Shut up Meg." Peter replied as he looked at the Text.

"Peter it's Lois, the Police have found the woman who took Stewie and are now chasing her and I'm with them." The text read. "I'll text you later to let you know what's happening."

"Wait how can Lois know that." Peter wondered. "She's in bed sulking, unless there are two Lois's aww sweet."

"Yes Peter there are two Lois's and Han Solo is a real person." Brian replied dryly."

"What really." Peter cried out in delight. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY."

"NO YOU STUPID IDIOT." Brian yelled out in irritation. "LOIS SNUCK OFF WITH THEM WHILE YOU WERN'T LOOKING AND USED THE SAME TRICK YOU USED WHEN YOU DRESSED UP AS LANDO GRIFFIN."

Peter just stood there with a dumbfounded look on his face as his tiny brain slowly put two and two together.

"Holy crap your mum's in a high speed car chase." Peter cried out in shock. "And I'm just starting to realise that maybe, just maybe this is all my fault and somehow I'm responsible for letting Stewie get kidnapped."

"Cool." Chris cried out in delight." mum's chasing a dangerous criminal."

Brian and Meg just facepalmed and groaned in embaressment.

Meanwhile Helen parked her car on top of a large cliff overlooking the sea.

"They'll keep chasing us." She muttered. "They won't stop until they catch me and throw me in jail."

"Can we go now?" Stewie asked in a terrified voice. "I want to go back home."

"They'll follow us to Texas." Helen continued while ignoring Stewie. "We can't go there now, we can't go anywhere now, we have to go somewhere where they'll never chase us ever again."

"I have no idea what you're talking about weirdo." Stewie stated in a voice quivering with fear. "But I'm getting out of here now."

Stewie was now feeling very scared he trembled in fear as Helen fell silent and stared out to sea.

"Why are you staring out at the sea?" The young infant asked in a fearful voice.

Helen simply gripped the steering wheel and closed her eyes.

"Well here it goes." Helen stated as tears welled up in her eyes. "Dave I'm so sorry, God please forgive me, g-goodbye cruel world, I geuss I was destined to die just as I was born, unloved and unwanted by my parents, Rosie, all the kids I tried to save, Dave and even by my own Son."

Stewie had no idea what Helen was talking about but it didn't take him long to figure it out.

"Holy Shit!" Stewie exclaimed in horror. "You ain't gonna."

Stewie was now breathing fast and quaking in fear, he didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be anywhere near this mean crazy lady who had tormented and abused him, he just wannted to be safe at home and for Lois to hug him and tell him everything would be alright.

Stewie then gulped as he saw the large drop that awaited him, he then closed his eyes as a few tears fell down and waited for the end as Helen laughed in a truly insane and wicked mannered.

 **(AN, well that was Chapter 12, now it's on to the penultimate chapter and to the finale, so remember to read and review, oh and in some exciting News I'll finnaly be giving my Family Guy stories some covers thanks to the brilliant NarwhalPuppy, definatly check her out she does some great art.**


	13. Who Keeps Stewie Griffin?

**(AN hello and welcome to the penultimate chapter of Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux) This Chapter will feature the second part of the climax and will see Lois finnaly getting her chance to fight Helen, so without further adu let's get started.)**

 **Chapter 13 Who Keeps Stewie Griffin?**

"Where did she go?" Lois asked in a panicky voice. "She just dissapered."

"Calm down Mrs Griffin." The Officer driving the car they were in said. "We'll catch her, send her to jail and you'll get your baby back."

"Yes well maybe it would be a good idea if we could actualy figure out where she went." Matt groaned in an impatient manner. "We don't have much time left, if we don't figure out where Mrs Parks went off to Stewie might die and quite frankly I've had about all I can take of this incompetent Police force, all that we've done so far is chase we've had so many opertunities to catch Mrs Parks but instead of coming up with a stratagey to corner her you let her go twice and all because you asked her to surrender politely, and why didn't you imform Peter and Lois before you went to the Flat?"

"Um-um we just forgot." The Officer Admited. "And besides we were giving her a chance to have a change of heart and give Stewie back."

"Polite, POLITE." Lois shrieked in fury. "I'll GIVE YOU POLITE this woman is a deluded insane lunatic who abducted my Son and has clearly shown that she just wants to keep him and dosn't care about anyone but herself and clearly dosn't care about the grief and hell I've been put through for the past four days and dosn't care about the Law, AND YOU WANT TO BE POLITE."

"Don't worry." Dave replied in an attempt to ease the tension. "Because when we arrived at the Trailer Park I secretly planted a tracking device on Helen's car in case she outran us."

"You're a genius." Lois replied in a calm but happy tone. "So where are they?"

Dave then took out a tracking device and examined the screen.

"Apparently she's driven and parked the Car on a cliff at the East coast which is over in that direction." Dave stated while pointing before a felling of absolute dread came over him. "Oh no."

"What is it?" Lois asked in a concerned voice.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but remember how I said that Helen is mentally unstable." Dave said as everyone nodded. "Well I'm very much afraid that she's become so upset and scared over being chased that- that she's going to try and drive her Car off the Cliff with Stewie just so she can be somewhere where we won't chase her."

"Oh my god, my baby." Lois wailed in despair.

"Good job Mr Parks." Matt stated in a grim voice as he tried to comfort Lois. "Right let's get going then."

Meanwhile Helen was still parked on top of the cliff, Stewie was currently rocking back and forth while shaking and whimpering.

"Look I don't know what your planning." Stewie cried out in pure fear. "But I'm leaving now, goodbye.

Stewie attempted to climb out but Helen simply grabbed him and threw him into what was left of the back.

"You ain't going anywhere." The crazed woman barked in an insane manner. "You and me are going to be together forever."

"You mean you are going to drive the Car into the Sea." Stewie yelled in horror. "You are a mad bitch YOU'LL KILL US BOTH."

In response Helen back handed him across the face.

"Quit your babbling." The crazed woman snapped. "I'm trying to concentrate."

Helen prepared to start the engine up which caused Stewie to begin screaming in fear.

"No please don't do this, I beg of you." The young infant wailed. "HELP, GOD PLEASE SAVE ME, HAVE PITTY."

Stewie began to whimper again but stopped when he heard the ever approaching sound of Police Sirens, Stewie and Helen both looked out the back and saw that Helen's car was surrounded by Six Police Cars and a Police Van, They then looked up at a bright white light and saw a Police Copter and News Copter.

The Police then got out and marched towards the car, they then raised their rifles and pointed them and the Police in the Helicopter had their Snipers aimed right at the mad woman.

"Whohoo I'm saved." Stewie cheered in delight.

the Officer that was in the car Lois was in took out a Megaphone.

"Right Mrs Parks this is your last chance, give up the baby now." The Officer demanded. "Or should I call you The Child Snatcher."

Lois was right behind the Officer and was jumping up and down in an attempt to see what was happening.

"What's happening?" Lois asked in a nervous voice. "Where's Stewie?"

"Calm down Mrs Griffin." Another Officer stated. "We'll get your Son back.

"YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM FROM ME." Helen roared in a melodramatic whiny voice. "HE'S MINE, MINE I TELL YOU MINE."

"That's it." Lois shouted in anger.

She then grabbed the Megaphone off the Officer and began speaking through it.

"Look here you bitch, give me back my son or so help me God I'll kill you." Lois yelled as she reached her breaking point.

"Who the hell are you?" Helen asked in an irritated manner.

"I'm the mother of that baby you've got in the car with you." Lois answered in determination.

"Lois." Stewie cried out in delight. "Oh thank god I've never been so happy to see you in all my life."

Helen simply slapped Stewie again, which Lois saw and made her erupt with anger.

"That's it." Lois growled in aggression.

And before anyone could stop her the furious redhead charged up to Helen's car while screaming in fury and began banging her fists on the driver side window.

"You bitch." Lois hollared. "You evil Child abusing bitch."

Lois stopped as Helen rolled the window down and then punched her straight in the face sending the redhead to the floor with a broken nose.

"Ohh that had to hurt." Stewie remarked before realising what had happened. "Hay wait a minute you hit my mummy."

Lois then got on her feet and ran to where the back door had been, she then climbed in and began to reach out towards Stewie when suddenly she felt a pair of large chubby hands wrap around her throat, she was then dragged out kicking and screaming and looked up to see Helen with a twisted smile while Stewie screamed and cried in terror at the sight of her being strangled.

"Don't worry Sweetie mummy's here." Lois choked out. "Everything's going to be ok."

"Think you're getting away with my baby do you." Helen snarled in fury. "Well think again, he's mine now and if I have to kill a few people just to keep it that way, then so be it."

Lois panicked for a few seconds before she managed to kick out at Helen and free herself, the two then entered a vicious brawl, punching, kicking, scratching and screaming in fury.

Meanwhile over at the Griffins house Meg, Chris and Peter were watching all the action unfold on TV while shaking in fear and anticipation.

"Oh my god they're really going at it." Meg cried out in horror. "Come on Mum you can beat her I know you can."

"I can't take much more of this." Chris said before fainting.

"Oh man Lois is so hot when she's viciously fighting another woman." Peter remarked in a dreamy voice.

Peter then got so overly excited that he ran up to the TV and started shaking it while yelling hysterically, after a few seconds it toppled over on top of him.

"Oh great dad now we won't know until later if Mum'll get Stewie back." Meg moaned as she tried to revive Chris.

"Owwww." Peter moaned.

"Look Helen I'm sorry about Oscar but he died." Lois tried to explain as she punched Helen in the face. "And I felt terrible when I found out, but Stewie's my Son."

"LIAR." Helen roared as she and Lois continued to exchange blows. "YOU JUST TARGETED ME ON PURPOUS SO THAT YOU COULD FAKE OSCAR'S DEATH, so how do you know that Stewie's your child."

"I never did that you loony." Lois retorted. "Besides I rembember having to push Stewie out of my bloody, well um never mind, so would you rather I drag you onto The Jerramey Kyle Show and humiliate ourselfs in front of millions, God I'm glad we're not related."

Lois imediatly ducked as Helen tried to swing her arms like clubs, Helen then stopped and Lois seeing an opening launched a roundhouse kick to the crazed woman's face which left her dazed, Lois then let out a flurry of punches and kicks to Helen's face.

"No I won't let you take him away from me." Helen yelled in fury. "I saw him, I brought him home and I LOVE HIM."

"You know there's only one way to settle this." The Officer stated. "We must take the baby, take a knife and cut him in half, then whichever woman begs me not to hurt him, then that'll prove who the mother is."

"That is the single most stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life." Matt retorted as he facepalmed.

"Yeah that plan is very dumb." The Officer replied.

Helen then got out of her daze and punched Lois right in the jaw sending her backwards into a Tree.

"You must realise somthing." Helen explained as she ran up to Lois and kicked her. "I may look overly weak and fat but only 1% of my body is fat the rest is pure muscle, so i'll be taking myself and Stewie uh I mean Oscar off the cliff now."

Helen then ran back to her car and got in it, she then started the engine and drove forwards but the car was moving at a very slow rate along with spluttering and pouring smoke out of the exhaust.

"What no what's happening." Helen roared in anger. "Come on you stupid hunk of junk move faster don't die on me now."

Unfortunatly the engine completley died and the car stopped at the near top of the slope, this caused the car to slide back down the hill to where everyone was followed by the steering wheel and front section of the car falling off.

"Ok we've seen enough. "Matt stated. "Bring her in boys.

All at once the Police marched up to Helen's car and several of them went to the drivers side and dragged Helen out who began kicking and screaming.

"LET GO OF ME." Helen screamed as she was handcuffed. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME."

Helen was dragged to the white van and imediatly flung in, the Officers then slammed the doors shut, locked them, knocked on the door twice and watched as the van started up and drove back to Quahog.

Matt then ran up to the car and lifted Stewie out, he was wearing a big smile on his face.

"Hello there." Matt stated in a cheerful tone. "You must be Stewie and I'm so glad I finnaly got to meet you and that Justice can finnaly be served.

Lois who was dabbing a hanky at her nosebleed then imediatly charged towards them and Matt grinning with delight and joy handed Stewie over to her, Lois imediatly hugged Stewie hard while crying tears of joy.

"Oh my baby." Lois cried out in a releived voice. "I've missed you so much."

Lois then began kissing Stewie all over the forehead.

"Easy Lois you're getting Nose Blood all over me." Stewie said in embaressment.

"Oh my god Stewie your clothes are torn." Lois cried out in shock.

Stewie then looked at himself and realised how damaged he was, his feet were bear and covered in mud, his Overalls were shreaded so badly that all that was left was the left side and just a few bits of the right side with the strap hanging on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Sweetie." Lois cooed. "When we get home I'll make you some new clothes and help you get back to good health."

Lois then walked up to Dave and thanked him for helping her save Stewie.

"It was no problem." Dave replied in a casual voice. "I knew Helen had done a bad thing and I wannted to report her for it."

He then gave Lois a hankey to Clene her nose.

"What's going to happen with your wife now?" Lois asked.

"Well she might be taken to the Nuthouse." Dave explained. "She is insane, she locked your Son in the Closet and she abused him several times, and she's even more whiney and annoying than TheMysteriousMrEnter."

 **Cutaway**

TheMysteriousMrEnter was sitting at his Laptop watching Family Guy.

"Ohh how dare they abuse Meg like that." Mr Enter whined while throwing a temper tantrum. "I HATE THIS SHOW AND BUT JUST FOR RANDOM NON SENSICAL REASONS, The cutaways are pointless, the humour is disgusting and they make fun of sensitive subjects, Seth Mcfarlane is the devil incarnate and I must stop him by being a big headed egotistical idiot who's only popular on YouTube because of other over sensative people who take life way to seriously and want all the characters to be perfect and I'll also refuse to let anyone with a differing opinion comment because they're just big mean trolls and make an overly long rant and try to sound ensightful, and in future videos I'll wear a trench coat to try and make myself look cool."

Mr Enter then cheered up when he saw that South Park was on.

"Yaaaayyyy South Park is the best Adult Cartoon ever, the humour is dark and saterical, the characters are complete jerks to each other but it's smart somehow and the show is mean spirited and gross and somehow it works despite the fact that Family Guy is exactly the same and is more clever and the characters are actualy likable unlike on South Park, but I'm just one of those people who can't accept that the show is just as good as the first three Seasons, but I'll never review South Park because people have said what I've already said just like with all the other popular things that have been praised."

 **End Cutaway**

"Well at least he's back with his real Mummy now." Lois stated as she smiled at Stewie.

Stewie suddenly began to sniff and whimper, he then suddenly broke down and began sobbing into Lois's shirt.

"Aww my poor baby." Lois cooed. "You've been through such an ordeal but It's ok now Stewie that mean lady is off to jail and you don't have to be frightened because I'm here and you'll be back in your real home in your real Crib."

"Can we go home now?" Stewie asked. "I'm starting to feel extremely homesick."

"Shall we go home?" Lois asked in a cheerful voice. "Everyone's been so worried."

"Home." Stewie stated. "Yes I like the sound of that."

 **(AN We'll that was Chapter 13 just one more chapter to go, anyway hope you enjoyed and remember to read and review, and I'm really surprised Family Guy hasn't retaliated against MR I like to nitpick Enter because all he ever does is whine and scream at shows he hates when if he dosn't like them then he shouldn't review them , so yeah one more chapter left and it's quite long and will see Helen being put on Trial and Stewie returning home.)**


	14. Home At Last

**(AN Hello and welcome to the final chapter of Stewie And The Fat Woman (Redux, I've seen the first few episodes of season 16 and so far the only episode I've not enjoyed are Emmy Winning, because I think they missed an opertunity to defend Family Guy and say that it dosn't need an Emmy to be good and that the true fans still believe in it, Also credit for the dialouge in some parts of the trial scene goes to NarwhalPuppy anyway hope you enjoy this chapter.)**

Lois, Stewie and Dave were in a Police Car heading back to Quahog, before that they had rushed them to a nearby hospital to deal with their injuries, after that Lois had phoned Peter to explain everything and tell them the good news.

"I wonder what Peter is doing now?" Lois asked herself.

"Does he know you've got Stewie back?" Dave asked. "Did you call him?"

"Yes he sounded really happy." Lois replied before looking at Stewie who was sitting on her lap. "You here that Sweetie your daddy can't wait to have you home."

"Oh really." Stewie remarked. "Well I hope he does somthing to make up for leaving me alone to get bloody kidnapped by a crazy fat woman."

Meanwhile back at the house Peter and Brian were on the couch watching TV with Brian sipping a Martini and Peter a can of Pawtucket Beer, Meg was in her room complaining about the TV being slightly damaged and Chris was trying to do his homework but he kept getting scared by the Evil Monkey.

"So did Lois call this morning?" Brian asked.

"Yeah." Peter replied in delight. "She said the Police arrested the woman who took Stewie."

"Is he ok?" Brian asked in concern.

"Oh yeah, Lois said he's fine." Peter explained. "A little filthy, had a rash and very shaken up, but fine."

"That's good." Brian replied. "So did they find out why this Helen woman kidnapped Stewie, from what I can tell she wannted to keep him as her Son?"

"Apparently Lois said she couldn't have any kids, she couldn't adopt because she was once a drug dealer and is an alcoholic." Peter explained. "So she decided to kidnap someone else's kid to keep as her own, oh and also the whole thing with her thinking Stewie was her long lost son."

"Wow!" The talking dog exclaimed in amazement. "That woman sounds pretty crazy."

"Lois said she was." Peter stated. "She told me that woman was going to drive her car into the sea with her and Stewie in it."

"Oh my god." Brian cried out in horror.

"I know." The dim witted man replied in astonishment. "And then Lois said she punched her in the face when she tried to get Stewie away from her."

Brian almost choked on his Martini and spewed it before dropping his Glass.

A few hours later in the Afternoon a hoard of Police Cars parked outside the house, Peter ran excitedly to the living room window and saw Lois coming out of one of the cars and she was carrying Stewie.

"Holy Crap." Peter yelled in delight. "They're back. "Meg, Chris get down here quick Your mum is back and she's got Stewie with her."

Meg and Chris then came charging down the stairs like excited sch ool children which unfortunately caused Meg to comedicaly trip down the last two stairs, the two then waited with Peter and Brian as Lois and Stewie said their goodbyes.

"I really don't know how much I can thank you." Lois stated as she shook Dave's hand.

"Oh no it should be me thanking you." Dave remarked. "You showed me how to stand up for myself and how to be a hero."

"A hero you barley did anything." The young infant retorted. "Well anyway goodbye Point Dexter, I hope we can meet under better circumstances next time."

"I hope so to." Dave replied. "Well goodbye Stewie, Mrs Griffin."

"Goodbye Dave." Lois said. "I geuss your not as bad as I thought you were."

Dave then got into a Police Car that would take him back to his Flat, Matt then shook Lois's hand.

"It was nice getting to know you Mrs Griffin." Matt stated. "I think I'll go back home and sleep easy now that Roasie's killer is finnaly behind bars."

"It was nice knowing you To Matt and I'm glad you got justice, I'm sure she would be proud." Lois said. "Well goodbye."

Matt then got into his Car and drove away along with all the other Police Cars, Lois then walked with Stewie up to the front door and opened it, all at once everyone leapt out with delighted faces.

"WELCOME HOME." They all cheered out at once.

"Oh my." Lois remarked in astonishment. "I wasn't expecting this."

"Aww Come here you." Peter yelled out as he grabbed Stewie into a tight hug. "We've missed you buddy."

"Easy Fatman I'm quite bruised up here from being beaten nearly every day by that fat whale." Stewie said.

Peter continued to hug him for five minutes before letting Meg and Chris hug him.

"Oh thank god you're safe." Meg cried out in relief. "If I knew that dad was going to be irresponsible I would've taken you to the Toy Store."

"Yeah I mean I'm not stupid but even I wouldn't let Stewie get abducted from the exact same place three times in a row now and then not tell Mum to avoid a telling off and forcing us to keep it a secret because she was on holiday." Chris stated before clapping his hands over his mouth and gasping. "Oops shouldn't have said that."

"PETER GRIFFIN." Lois yelled in anger. "You and I are going to have a long hard talk about acceptable parenting skills."

Stewie then went to sit on the floor next to Brian while Peter watched.

"Is that all he's going to do?" Peter asked in confusion. "Just sit there as if nothing has happened."

"Peter he's just a baby." Lois explained. "He probably dosn't even remember what happened to him, come on I'm going to order Pizza."

"Yaaaayyy I want extra cheese." Chris cried out excitedly."

Lois then went to order while Stewie and Brian watched the news.

 **Cutaway To TV**

"And in other news today the kidnapper of one year old Stewie Griffin was found and arrested." Tom informed. "Helen Parks 41 from Southern Texas was charged with kidnapping and will be sentenced to twenty years in prison, after that she will spend the rest of her life in a nuthouse, and now we go live to Ollie Williams who's at the courthouse where Helen was charged today, what's the scene there Ollie?"

"She going down." Ollie quickly yelled as he stood in front of the courthouse, before cutting back to Tom.

"Thank you Ollie." Tom remarked. "And now to Strip Clubs."

"Well thank god she's going down." Stewie stated. "She deserves it."

"What was she like?" Brian asked in a curious voice.

"Oh she was crazy man, she locked me in her cupboard for three hours and hit me a few times, and she was going to take me to Texas, she didn't want to give me back." Stewie remarked before shivering.

"Do you want somthing to help take your mind off it?" The talking dog asked.

"Yes please." The talking baby replied.

"Ok wait right here for a few seconds." Brian stated before walking through to the kitchen.

Brian then leapt back through in his banana suit while wielding maracas.

Brian: It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time, peanut butter jelly time.

Where he at, where he at, yeah there he go, there he go.

Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly.

The young infant began laughing hysterically at this.

"Oh that felt much better." Stewie replied. "You know somthing Bri I've realised through this experiance that world domination isn't such a great idea, I mean the world's way to big and dark and scary and that trying to Lois was dumb.

"Well I'm glad you've gotten out of that little phase." Brian said teasingly. "See your experiance was good for you in a way."

"You douch." Stewie cried out.

Meanwhile Helen was in a jail cell at the Police Station kicking the walls in fury while also screaming in pain.

"Must get out of here." She growled. "Must get my Son back, he's mine not that stupid redheaded bitche's son MINE."

Her cellmate then threw a pillow at her.

"Will you shut the fudge up." Her cellmate hissed. "You fudging child stealer."

Helen then stabbed the man with a penknife.

"No one tells me to shut up." Helen snarled.

Later on back at the house The Griffins were sitting on the couch eating Pizza except for Stewie who was fast asleep and sucking his thumb.

"I think I'll put Stewie to bed." Lois stated as she got up and lifted the baby into her arms.

"Ok but be quick the movie's about to start." Peter stated.

Lois then carried Stewie up the stairs and into his bedroom, after changing him into his Pyjamas she put Stewie into his cot and tucked him in.

"I'm so glad to have you back." She whispered before kissing him goodnight and leaving the room.

Stewie then woke up and turned round to see Rupert.

"Hi Rupert." He said sleepily as he wrapped his arms around his teddy bear. "I geuss you missed me to huh."

Rupert said nothing as Stewie fell back to sleep while hugging him.

 **(AN Well that's the end of that story, I know I promised you a trial but I couldn't think of a good place to put it without mucking up the goodbye scene, so I decided to put it at the end of the next story, anyway my next fanfic will be a Halloween fanfic.**


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